‘Sorry’ Rudan reveals turmoil of leaving Phoenix
Family heartache at core of decision to move back to Sydney despite attempts over the Christmas holidays to get his clan to set up home in the Kiwi capital
Mark Rudan has revealed the personal inner turmoil behind the most successful Phoenix campaign in four years. The club confirmed on Monday their head coach would be exiting at the end of the A-League season and Rudan yesterday fronted media at Westpac Stadium in Wellington to explain his reasons for leaving with one year left on his contract.
This was a different Rudan to the bullish, exuberant, confident character who faced the cameras and microphones in the same room when
he was unveiled as coach in late May. Instead, it was an apologetic, softlyspoken, repeatedly contrite Rudan who said the word “sorry” at least a dozen times during an emotional 40-minute media conference.
Rudan will head back to Sydney to be with his wife and teenage sons, having lived lived away from them for the best part of the last year.
Despite repeated attempts to sell them on a move to New Zealand, Rudan realised relocation wouldn’t happen after his family spent an extended Christmas holiday with him in Wellington.
“My intentions were good — to try and convince them to come over and stay. I thought in the back of my mind I’d find a way of getting them over here but I think I was just lying to myself and trying to convince myself that I could convince them.
“I was torn; I didn’t know what to do and I’d never been in this situation before. There are moments when a dad’s got to be a dad. He’s got to be there and put his arm around his kids and be there for the family and I’ve missed that. It wasn’t my intention to lead anybody on. I was just confused about what the best thing to do was.
“I was always going to let someone down no matter what decision I made. I’ve let my club down and my fans down and everybody here and that’s
There are moments when a dad’s got to be a dad. He’s got to be there and put his arm around his kids and be there for the family and I’ve missed that. Nix coach Mark Rudan
genuinely how I feel. They’ve got every reason to be upset with my decision, I get that. I’m sorry to those who I’ve upset and I just hope they can understand my side.”
Fan reaction to Rudan’s departure has been mixed. There’s a significant amount of gratitude for the way he has turned around the flailing fortunes of a struggling club but many also feel let down by his decision.
“I’ll take any punches that come my way,” said Rudan. “All I can say is that when I came here my intentions were very, very good. I wanted to make a difference at this football club. I gave it my all and I really wish it could have been different, more than you know, but it’s not to be.
“I understand the disappointment with people. I get that, they’re hurt. They’ve got every right to say what they want — they pay their hardearned, they’re supporters and members of this football club. If they feel that or sense that, I’ll take it on the chin. It’s my fault, no one else’s.”
“If they want to throw oranges and bananas — I’m not the best at eating fruit, so I’ve been told by my nutritionist, and I should eat more of that,” he joked. “I’ll take whatever hits come my way and all I can do is apologise.”
The timing of Rudan’s announcement to the players had also raised eyebrows, with many correlating backto-back defeats with the inevitable uncertainty in the squad.
“I don’t know what the best way would have been [to tell them],” Rudan admitted. “Had I said it earlier, how would that have affected my playing group, the supporters and everybody else? I tried to do the best I could, but I was conflicted and it was complicated.”
Although he has been heavily linked with a move to Melbourne-based A-League expansion club Western United, Rudan confirmed he hasn’t signed a contract to coach elsewhere beyond this season.
“Right now, the full focus is on this football club and making sure we finish off the best way possible.” And what of a return to Wellington in the future?
“If this club wants me back, I’ll be back in a heartbeat. I love it,” said Rudan with a wide smile.