Reality blokes flex emotional muscle
Gender stereotypes start to be buried in Treasure Island sand
Tuning into Celebrity
Treasure Island for the first time, the alpha male types were immediately obvious and the inevitable dudebro action to come was woefully predictable.
Sure enough, Hits breakfast host Sam Wallace forgot how to button his shirt, alleged “drownings” took place, tempers flared, men were assumed to be stronger than
women based purely on appearance, and at various points Olympian Eric Murray literally uttered the phrases: “We’re trying to provide for the women” and “Me Tarzan, you Jane” (the latter occurred directly before he set the shelter on fire).
Sam assumed Instagram and former GC star Rosie Arkle wouldn’t be smart, based
on her appearance and what she did for a living. Similarly, everyone assumed former boxing champ Shane Cameron would be bad at a puzzle challenge because “all he has is strength”.
Things escalated in the first truly physical challenge of the series in episode three, where the teams had to pull a ring through the water and back to their goal.
While the women focused on playing an intense game of tug-o-war with the ring, the men focused on attacking one another — they tackled, wrestled and threw each other, pulling at limbs and holding each other under the water.
When all was done and dusted we were treated to some weirdly aggressive — what I call — “bro hugs” (you know the kind), but not before we were treated to Eric’s temper flaring over the opposition attempting to swap its team members around.
On the other team, Flava radio host Athena Angelou simply commented: “The guys on [the other team] Kahu are over the top!” and Olympian Barbara Kendall noted: “Eric, it’s not the Olympics!”
But despite all of this, at the same time something wonderful started to happen, in which the toxic masculinity that usually looms over these types of reality TV affairs simply started to break itself down before my eyes.
Sure, all of these things were going on but on the other side of all of that, we had well-known Kiwi men getting vulnerable, being honest and raw and admitting their fears, mistakes and weaknesses.
The breaking down of said toxic masculinity was at times overtly obvious, like when former Bachelor star Lily McManus managed to convince Sam and Eric to take part in a challenge to see who could make — and model — the best coconut bikini.
“The boys are great — you give them a task and they just get it done,” Lily told the cameras, before she added: “But you can give them the dumbest challenge and they’re not gonna know that it’s dumb and
There was no judgment . . . or calls for him to ‘man up’.
they’re gonna do it.”
Sure enough, the guys got wildly competitive, demanded to know who won the fake competition and argued their separate cases. The result? Shannon Ryan summed it up perfectly: “The real winner is Lily for convincing you guys to pull this off.”
But more often, it’s been through less direct actions. Most notably, when Shortland Street legend Karl Burnett exited the show in episode two as a result of his mental health.
Karl opened up about his yearslong struggle with depression and anxiety, saying that he’d “been good” for a few years but being out of his comfort zone on the show had caused “a wee bit of a meltdown”.
There was a great moment where Sam got to show his sensitive and understanding side, imploring his team to support Karl however they could. And when Karl finally broke the news to his team, there was no judgment and certainly none of the mockery or calls for him to “man up” that would’ve been a given 10 or even five years ago.
It was particularly important that Zac Guildford — a former All Black — told the cameras how much he had been affected by Karl’s situation.
Zac said “The things he said and what he’s going through now, I’ve definitely felt before, so I could relate to that.” .
And actor Jodi Rimmer said: “I feel proud of Karl for looking after himself and making the right call, there is no weakness in that.”
There were also small and seemingly insignificant moments, like when Karl and Sam had a beautiful moment sharing baby photos, when TVNZ Breakfast host Matty McLean got openly emotional about his fear of going home, and when Sam looked into the cameras and admitted he’d been selfish and let his team down.
On their own, none of these things seem like major events, but when they start to rack up as the episodes of Treasure Island go on, it speaks to how far we’ve come as a society and in our entertainment.
Here we are in a space where men are open, emotional and vulnerable, where gender roles and stereotypes are out the window, where asking for help is a strength, and where macho behaviour is called out and questioned.
Turns out reality TV might just be able to do some good after all.