ABs’ secret weapon not what you think
Magic in plain sight against Namibia . . . but could it also be the moustaches?
This is the All Blacks. Late in the game, very late, TJ Perenara scores a try on the wing. He’s not a winger, he’s a scrawny little halfback, but this time he’s been subbed on as first five eighth. Only no one told Perenara. It’s an attacking play from their 22, and he’s not at first five. Ben Smith has stepped in, he’s actually the fullback, but who’s counting really?
Smith takes a smart pass from replacement halfback Brad Weber and slaps it on to Perenara, who surges upfield.
That “dual playmaker” role between Richie Mo’unga and Beauden Barrett, first five and fullback? Neither of them is even playing in this game and right now Perenara and Smith are showing the world that all of them can do it. Perenara crosses the halfway line and flicks the ball wider.
The tyro wing George Bridge is there, then the ex-tyro wing Rieko Ioane, who’s at centre and desperate to get his spot in the A team back from Bridge, but he doesn’t do what he normally does, glory or death, running hard and fast to see what happens. He flicks it fast, wider, and it’s Weber again, how the hell did he get out there?
When Weber runs, he’s got this face on him like he’s running from death and it makes him run like the wind. But for all the horror storming his mind, he does not lose composure. He passes, behind his back, slicker than any move Sonny Bill Williams introduced to rugby all those years ago, and the ball is with Perenara again, who is now running out wide. He’s become the wing.
He is not supposed to be there but he is, and he runs, down the line, he’s tackled and tackled again, and yet still he goes up and over, into the corner post, his hand reaching down with the ball — this should not be possible — and he scores.
The ball rolls back, taunting everyone, but the replays reveal the truth. TJ Perenara, livewire halfback, pop-up centre, pop-up winger, has scored a miracle try.
This is the All Blacks. Their backline, every one of them, can perform miracles. They glory in the chances weaker teams give them. Stronger teams go, yeah nah, we’ll smash ’em, but will they? Namibia weren’t bad. They just weren’t good enough.
The All Blacks aren’t bad at smashing either. Brodie Retallick was back from injury this game, filling the sky in front of the Namibian halfback, charging down the clearing kick. Maybe it’s a vision of Retallick charging at him that Brad Weber is running away from.
There was the play on halftime, the ABs putting down scrum after scrum near the Namibian line, where you could see that any single back was going to waltz through and score, but the forwards weren’t having it. They wanted the try.
Ardie Savea at No 8 did his best, so did the others. They didn’t get it, all respect to the Namibian forwards there, but eventually Ben Smith made it look easy.
Smith was good all night, but Anton Lienert Brown at second-five eight, he was truly great. Tackling, running, gliding, scoring, he’s the guy going to provide the magic moment that wins this thing. That’s my view.
It was 71-9. They scored 11 tries. Most of them, it wasn’t about who scored the try, some lucky bugger on the end of the last pass. It was the confidence the machine would score it. That’s how rugby is supposed to be played, that’s what every coach in the world from 5 years old onwards
is supposed to drum into the team — 14 players who put the 15th into space. That’s the true mark of this team. They’ve made it true.
Worst moment of the night? Two of them: The two props, Nepo Laulala and Ofa Tuungafasi, both sin-binned for trying to knock a player’s head off with their forearms. No excuses, that was rubbish.
Best moment? Joe Moody, also a prop, scored a try. A rare and brutally beautiful thing, after which he lay there, for just a moment, his body still,
his face buried in the grass. Savouring it.
Or do the All Blacks have a secret weapon, hiding in plain sight under their noses? Is it their moustaches? Nic White in the Wallabies says he grew one because of the TV show
Peaky Blinders. But in the All Blacks it’s not a Peaky Blinders thing, it’s an All Blacks thing. Brodie Retallick, Aaron Smith, Rieko Ioane, and now Ben Smith, standing up for the moustachability of weedy white guys everywhere.