Sharon Stephenson flies from Buenos Aires to Santiago aboard LA464

The Plane: A320

The Class: Economy

Price: It’s cheaper to buy a return than a one-way, so that’s what we do. It costs $287.50.

Seat: 26K, squashed between a metal-head on his way to see a gig by Slash (of Guns ’n’ Roses fame) and an older gentleman with fewer teeth than he should have. The heavy metaller’s English was good, fortunate given my Spanish is non-existent, and we chatted for much of the flight (mainly about travel, not music, thank goodness).

Flight time: When ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wrote, “A good traveller isn’t intent on arriving”, he probably wasn’t talking about this flight. But had he been faced with an unexplained three-hour delay, he could have been. In the end, the two-hour, nineminute flight took almost five hours. Entertainment: An in-flight magazine that was mostly in Spanish. I had more fun watching the cute dog across the aisle who obediently sat on his owner’s lap for the duration and wondering why my dog doesn’t behave as well. Also seeing a grumpy flight attendant almost rugby tackle a passenger who had the audacity to stand up when the seat-belt sign was on.

The service: Think Faulty Towers at 30,000 feet and you’ll come close. Food and drink: Water and a ham and cheese croissant. When I asked the attendant for a veggie option, she stared at me as if it was a wonder I could dress myself each day, then whipped out the slice of ham before handing it over. My husband, who was seated a few rows behind me (even though we checked in together, they refused to seat us together), had more luck when he was offered a fruit muffin.

Toilets: Don’t know, didn’t use them. Probably for the best, given it might have been a bit of a mission to wedge myself out of my seat.

Airport experience: Buenos Aires’ Eziza Airport is the city’s only international airport (the other two service mainly domestic and regional routes across South America). It’s modern, clean and offered lots of places to sit while we waited for the three-hour delay to wear itself out.

Final word: I’m going to take the Pollyanna approach and say a) I’m glad we arrived in one piece b) if I couldn’t sit next to my husband, at least I had an entertaining seat-mate and c) there was a cute dog.