It’s not footy, Fozzie. And not ugly. But that word worked for sure
Suppose a secret microphone picked up the dialogue between All Blacks coach Steve Hansen and his assistant Ian Foster during the All Blacks game against Namibia last week. It would have gone like this.
First half
Steve Hansen: Fozzie.
Ian Foster: Yes, boss?
SH: Fozzie, Fozzie, Fozzie.
IF: I’m picking up that you’re not happy.
SH: You do, do you?
IF: We’re winning, though.
SH: Well of course we’re winning. We’re the All Blacks, and they’re Namibia.
IF: The driest country in Sub-Saharan Africa.
SH: Is it? Well there you go.
IF: I also gather it’s one of the least densely populated countries in the world.
SH: That’s very interesting, Fozzie, but what’s of greater interest to me right now is the way we’re playing. And it’s not pretty.
IF: It’s not pretty.
SH: You’re right there. But do you know what really bothers me?
IF: No, boss?
SH: It’s not ugly.
IF: Boss?
SH: It’s not anything, is it. Where’s the attitude? What are we looking at, Fozzie? I’ll tell you what I want to be looking at.
IF: Yes, boss?
SH: Footy, Fozzie.
IF: Footy?
SH: Yes, Fozzie. Footy.
IF: This isn’t footy.
SH: This isn’t footy, Fozzie. You’re right there. IF: Are you thinking of having a word with the boys about it at half-time? SH: I am very much thinking of a particular word.
Second half
Ian Foster: This is better.
Steve Hansen: It’s a bit better.
IF: I think you got their attention. SH: You do, do you?
IF: I think it was the use of that particular word you had in mind. SH: They needed to hear that word. IF: They heard it loud and clear. SH: Do you think so?
IF: It was the first word that came out of your mouth. SH: It seemed apt.
IF: It was downright felicitous. SH: Eh?
IF: Befitting.
SH: You’re right there, I think. IF: Look! Did you see what Brad Weber just did?
SH: The old no-look pass!
IF: Go, TJ!
SH: Go!
IF: Go!
SH: Try!
IF: What a try!
SH: You know what we just saw, Fozzie?
IF: Boss?
SH: Footy, Fozzie. Footy.
IF: You’re right there.