Abuse like a spiderweb but you can escape, says Dunne
Kristin Dunne said it was the interventions of her sister, parents and best friends that ‘‘potentially saved my life’’ from an abusive relationship.
Dunne shared her story of domestic violence at an event in Tauranga on Thursday night.
The co-founder and deputy chair of the Sophie Elliott Foundation, Dunne has sought to prevent violence against women, after being a victim at the hands of her then partner, broadcaster Tony Veitch.
‘‘People in an abusive relationship will often display low self-esteem. Then they get depressed, withdrawn and guarded, particularly when discussing their partner,’’ Dunne said.
‘‘There may be physical marks and bruises, which they try to hide and repeated injuries with multiples of excuses as to how they occurred.
‘‘These are the symptoms my family recognised in me.’’
Dunne said it can be ‘‘incredibly hard when first confronted by someone as to whether you are OK’’.
‘‘You are doing all that you can to appear normal and it feels like an intrusion of a very private world to have someone say, hey, what’s going on here? But it is a life-saving thing to do.’’
A police statement filed by Dunne revealed a catalogue of abuse, including an incident in 2006, where Veitch kicked Dunne with enough force to fracture her back.
In 2009, Veitch pleaded guilty to injuring Dunne.
Through the highly-publicised case, Dunne met Lesley Elliott, the mother of Sophie Elliott, who was stabbed to death by her boyfriend Clayton Weatherston in 2008.
The pair then realised there was a gap in the area of domestic violence prevention and, with a drive to see change begin, cofounded the foundation.
‘‘Unbeknownst to Sophie and her family, she was also in an abusive dating relationship. And as her incredibly brave mother has stood up and said, over 350 times since her murder, her death was preventable,’’ Dunne said.
‘‘In all the cases I have named, many people knew that something was wrong in the relationship.
‘‘But they didn’t know that was abuse and they didn’t know what to do about it. It wasn’t their fault, they were never made aware, never educated. Who teaches you this stuff? I was also unaware.
‘‘It was the interventions of my sister, of my parents, and my best friends, that potentially saved my life.’’
Dunne told the crowd of around 200 people that she was blessed ‘‘to not be one of New Zealand’s statistics’’.
‘‘Imagine knowing that you could do something to save the life of your beloved child,’’ she said.
‘‘Or the life of your niece, your friend, your aunty, your work colleague, your mother.