The message Jacinta will never get to read
‘‘798 days ago, heaven gained an angel, my angel. It has been 798 days since I heard your voice, grinned at your infectious laugh or enjoyed one of your famous bearhugs.
‘‘What I would give to get a text from you, to see your face in my car window or feel the joy of seeing a Facebook post from you, telling me that you love me.
‘‘Jacinta, your death has left a constant ache in the place in my heart that was reserved only for you. I was amazed at the 2000-plus people who came to your tangi at Kokiri Marae to show their aroha, and to share their stories about the impact you had on their lives. There was kapa haka, waiata and karakia but also, and more importantly, there was so much love for you. I wish you realised just how much you were admired, adored and respected by your siblings, peers, friends, teachers, coaches and, of course, your family.
‘‘You were vivacious, talented and funny. You carried yourself with mana and I was always proud to be the mum of such a beautiful human. Do I carry guilt that I could have done things different? Yes, absolutely. Am I angry with you? Absolutely not!
‘‘I will never be angry with you Jacinta, I am just so sad that I couldn’t save you. If you were with me today, I would tell you that I am proud of the person you have become, proud of the challenges you have overcome, and amazed at the strength you have shown to achieve the goals you set for yourself.
‘‘I would shower you with love, encouragement and positive affirmations to remind you that life isn’t always going to be easy, but to keep focused on the road ahead – be careful not to deviate.
‘‘Lastly, I would tell you to be kind to yourself always. [Quote from Winnie the Pooh:] ‘If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.’
‘‘I love you forever Jacinta, love Mum xoxox’’