Luke Robson’s story

The search for the ever-elusive worklife balance was what first made me think about going to see a psychologist. Working full time, and living with friends in a flat, I found I just couldn’t find time for myself – to simply take myself away and choose what I wanted to do for a while.

Whenever I was at the flat, I was in the lounge hanging out with my flatmates, watching TV, talking rubbish, and genuinely enjoying myself. But I would get to the end of a week and be frustrated that I hadn’t made time for myself to just relax and pick up a book.

I actually started feeling trapped – I physically couldn’t sit in my room alone hearing my flatmates in the lounge without a growing guilt that I wasn’t being social, that I wasn’t adding to the flat, and that I was letting them down.

When I reached out to a psychologist, she simply asked, ‘‘Where is this guilt coming from?’’

It was a question I’d never asked – I just assumed that the guilt was just a well-intentioned part of my personality; that I was a social person who just wanted to be with friends whenever I had the opportunity, and as such, I would sacrifice time for myself to do so.

It’s something I’d never felt I had a choice in.

I had to really think and examine where this internal guilt was coming from – and my answers were that I wanted to be a good friend to them, and wanted them to think of me as a good person.

So the psychologist questioned again, ‘‘Would they think I was a bad person if I went and did my own thing instead of being with them?’’

The answer was obvious, but for me it had been hidden. Of course not, they’re my friends, they would understand.

Yes they would, and since then, of course they have. So the way forward for me since has just been allocating time better.

I still hang out with my friends, but when it suits, and when I want time for myself, I plan it and make it happen without feeling guilty.

And, dare I say it, I feel like I might have found that work-life balance.