Funeral work a source of great satisfaction
Cassie Murphy is pleased she can help families deal with the loss of loved ones.
CASSIE MURPHY has attended more funerals and seen more dead bodies than most 20-year-olds.
But there’s a good reason for that – Murphy is an embalmer for Hutt Valleybased Gee and Hickton Funeral Directors.
‘‘It is unusual for someone so young to be in this industry, I am among the youngest in the country, but I’m comfortable with this environment – I’ve grown up around it and I’ve always been really interested in it.
‘‘Death doesn’t scare me, it’s a natural part of life, and this is about celebrating people’s lives.’’
Murphy is following in her Dad Gavin’s footsteps – he is a funeral director/ embalmer at Gee and Hickton and began working in the field three decades ago, at the age of 18.
‘‘His Dad passed away when he was 15, he had a really good experience with a funeral home and after that he was really interested in the industry, that’s how he got involved.’’
However, initially, Gavin wasn’t so keen on his daughter entering the same profession.
‘‘When I left school I nagged and nagged him for a job but he wouldn’t give me one, he wanted me to try something different.
‘‘Then a job in the office became available and I asked if I could have it, anything to get a foot in the door, and he said ‘yes’.’’
A year later, when an embalmer left, Murphy begged her Dad for the role and eventually he gave in.
‘‘I was always down in the mortuary when I was working in the office asking questions and watching the embalmers, and now for the last year I’ve been working as an embalmer, I know it’s definitely me.
‘‘It’s just a really cool industry, I love being able to help families and have a positive impact on what is obviously a very sad situation.’’
Murphy is currently undergoing on-thejob training and next year she’ll take up a Diploma in Embalming through WelTec.
She’s currently working with three other embalmers, as well as her Dad.
‘‘He’s not reluctant about me being here anymore, he’s happy with his decision, he’s even come in to help me on weekends.
‘‘Some of my friends says it must be weird working with your Dad, and in a mortuary, but it’s really cool.
‘‘He’s so passionate about what he does, he’s always loved it and he’s happy to teach me what he knows and see that knowledge being passed down through the family.’’
As an embalmer, Murphy’s days vary greatly.
She could be doing anything from washing the hearse, doing transfers to the funeral home, helping fellow funeral directors hand out service sheets at funerals, to embalming someone.
‘‘You could be cleaning one minute and go out to a rest home the next, you never know what’s going to happen and I love the spontaneity of it.
‘‘It’s not a normal Monday to Friday job, it’s not a sit at the desk-type job – you are on call, you work nights and weekends, and that has always been interesting and cool to me.’’
A big part of her work is dealing with bodies, doing everything from embalming them, to washing them, dressing them and applying their make-up. But she doesn’t think twice about it. ‘‘I’ve never thought ‘oh my goodness, I’m dealing with dead people’. Of course it’s someone’s loved one and we respect and care for them as if they were alive.
‘‘You don’t look at them and think ‘they’re dead’, you look at them and think ‘they are someone’s mother or grandmother’, so you give them the respect that they deserve.’’
The death of young people, especially Cassie’s age or younger, can affect her emotionally.
‘‘It doesn’t happen too often thankfully, you don’t expect someone younger than you to be dying.
‘‘It does really hit home and when it is really upsetting we have a debrief or chat here in the office which always helps.’’
It does make Murphy appreciate the little things in life.
‘‘You see families every day who have just lost their loved one, so when you go home you do think how lucky you are to have what you’ve got.’’
The job requires a certain personality type, someone who has a compassionate, caring nature and an open mind.
‘‘It’s just a really cool industry, I love being able to help families and have a positive impact on what is obviously a very sad situation.’’ - Cassie Murphy, from Gee and Hickton Funeral Directors.
‘‘Everyone walks a different path of life, so whatever we walk in to, we can never forget that we’re looking after someone else’s love one, that’s our main focus, to help the family and have a positive impact on their sad situation.
‘‘We know how important viewing a loved one is in the grieving process and the acceptance of it all, and it’s up to us to make it the best possible experience for the family whether it’s here or in their own home.’’
While some don’t like to view their loved one, for others it provides closure, Murphy says.
The subject of death and dying itself, often labelled a taboo subject, can be another tough hurdle.
But not on a personal level for Cassie and her family.
‘‘It a subject we’ve always had open conversations about. I guess with Dad in the industry we’ve grown up with it, he’s always been really open about what he does and answered any questions we had.
‘‘We’d pop into work with him on weekends, we lived just down the road from the funeral home, so it’s not a scary place to me, I’m comfortable here.’’
Murphy’s Mum told her just recently her interest in the industry goes back to her early childhood.
‘‘She said when I was four she took me to my first funeral. It was one of our neighbours and I was so close to the grave at the burial because I was so interested in everything, that she told me to step back and away.’’
Murphy hasn’t lost anyone close to her but she says watching other families grieve is tough.
‘‘Obviously we’re not in their grief process, but we want to help them as they go through the worst time in their lives.
‘‘When families come back to us and say ‘thank you so much, the viewing experience was so amazing and she looked great’, that’s what makes you realise what you do is worth it.’’
While Murphy’s friends are now used to her line of work, first encounters can sometimes draw interesting reactions.
‘‘I get all sorts of responses, especially being my age, people just do not expect it. They are like ‘wow, okay’ – they expect me to be a student or something.
‘‘Sometimes the conversation will stop completely, some people are happy to chat about it . . .
‘‘I was at restaurant the other night getting takeaways, wearing my Gee and Hickton hoodie, and the guy behind the counter said ‘do you work at the funeral home’, I said ‘yeah I do’ and he said ‘oh wow, you’re scary’.’’
But Murphy says she’s just a normal 20-year-old who happens to work in the funeral industry.
‘‘We are normal people, we have a Facebook page, we are not scary people who sit in a funeral home waiting for bodies to come in,’’ she says.
‘‘As a society we’ve got to learn to accept and understand that death is a natural part of life, and we have to appreciate what we’ve got while we’ve got it.
‘‘I’m really glad that all that pestering and nagging my Dad paid off, I wouldn’t want to do anything else, I absolutely love it.’’