How to beat runner’s guilt
The day you first lace up your shoes and head out the door on a run, there’s one thing no one will warn you about.
It’s not about your knees, that’s for sure. Plenty of nonrunners will say, ‘‘oh, running is bad for your knees’’. Spoiler alert: it’s not. It’s not about runner’s high. Plenty of other runners will tell you, ‘‘oh, you’ll feel runner’s high’’. Spoiler alert: you will ... sometimes..
It’s something you won’t have thought about: runner’s guilt.
Yes, it’s a thing. It comes in various forms, contexts and waves. And there are various ways of dealing with it.
Even if you’re not a runner, you’ll be familiar with the feeling, the sense of guilt that
throbs in the background while you’re engaged in an activity, be that swimming, yoga, knitting, golf, tai chi, or watching sport.
But there are some things which are specific to runners.
Running is not usually a team sport. So, essentially, it’s a selfish pursuit. As much as having time on your own is good, it can feel like a bad thing.
There have been plenty of times when I’ve run along with a nagging sense that I should be somewhere else, doing something else. Times when I’ve been loping along, outwardly looking like I don’t have a care in the world, while my mind is furiously fretting about the things that aren’t getting done.
Sometimes that means I’ll cut a run short. Sometimes it means I won’t go at all. Just this week, I’d missed my normal morning run, so intended to go during the day. As lunchtime flew by, I still hadn’t gone because of work. I
really wanted to go, not only for the standalone benefits I get from a run itself, but because I’m trying to build a block of training for an event I have coming up.
So I thought ‘never mind, I’ll go tonight’. But by the time I left work, runner’s guilt kicked in.
If I’m out running, I’m not at home talking to my family about the day they’ve had, listening to the challenges they’ve faced, sharing the joys they’ve had.
If I’m out running, I’m not home to get the dinner on, to help with the washing, to answer questions about homework.
If I’m out running, I’m not being a good husband and father.
I stared at the running gear in
In the scheme of things, will it really matter if you do 9.3km instead of 10km that day? Of course not.
my bag. It stayed in my bag. Runner’s guilt won.
There will be some who think, ‘‘oh, you’re just making excuses to not go for a run’’.
Sometimes that’s true. Those days when it’s raining or you’re just not in the mood, you’ll use any reason to avoid a run. ‘‘Oh, I really should go online and research what type of toothbrush is best these days – electric, round, classic?’’
Nope, that doesn’t cut it. On that particular day this week, though, there were things going on at home that really needed my attention. I could have ignored them, yeah, sure.
But in this case, I know that not going was the right thing to do. I’m not about to argue that I should have abandoned my family, or been derelict in my duties at work. It’s just a run.
But there are ways I could have avoided this runner’s guilt.
The easiest solution is to run
early. If I get up and run before the rest of the day begins and, frankly, before the rest of the family is awake, I’ve got it done without the risk of it being shunted out of the way by life’s ups and downs.
In my pre-family days, I hardly even knew there was a 5or 6am. But now, I’ll run early, partly to avoid runner’s guilt.
And I quite like it now, bearing witness to gorgeous sunrises and benefiting from an endorphin rush to start the day.
There’s another type of runner’s guilt that’s a bit harder to counter. It’s the guilt that comes from the tyranny of a training schedule.
Whether it’s a coach-set programme, one you’ve downloaded from the internet, or one you’ve written yourself, in this goal-driven world, it’s easy to become obsessed with the numbers. How many kilometres am I meant to pound out this
week? How many repetitions am I supposed to be sweating out in my speed sessions?
And when the squeeze is coming on, runner’s guilt will start pounding. Now, a little bit of that is good. Sometimes that’s the thing that will make you run that last repetition. Sometimes it will make you go out for that long run you’re looking for excuses to put off.
But sometimes it forces you to do dumb things. Like doing loops of your street to make sure you hit the day’s kilometre target.
In the scheme of things, will it really matter if you do 9.3km instead of 10km that day? Of course not.
But try telling that to a runner suffering runner’s guilt.
Eugene Bingham and Matt Rayment are hosts of a new trail running podcast, Dirt Church Radio. Learn more at dirtchurchradio.com