Oh, behave! Thrills not spills
The world might be your oyster, but it’s not your playpen, writes Ben Groundwater.
You wish there was a referee sometimes. You wish someone would go over to your fellow travellers, blow a whistle, reach into their pocket and produce a red card. Travellers get away with so much that they really shouldn’t, and no one says anything, no one holds them to account, because who would?
I had an email from a reader suggesting the red card system, and I like it. Any bad behaviour such as these below – red card. If only…
Saying ‘‘x’’ is better at home
Any time you’re overseas and you hear that the beaches or coffee are better back home, or the people are friendlier back home, send them back there. You don’t travel to boast about your home. You travel to experience someone else’s.
Pushing the hand luggage rules
Yes, hand luggage limits are annoying, and we all try to nudge the boundaries. However, don’t take the proverbial. Don’t try to lug a million bags on board and stuff them all into the overhead and deny everyone else a reasonable amount of space.
Marvelling at ‘‘happy’’ poor people
It’s the pervasive idea of the contented, wants-fornothing poor person, the condescending attitude some travellers have towards citizens of the developing world. Just because people smile at you in greeting, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t enjoy access to good medical care, or clean water.
Taking photos with your iPad
This is a straight red card. No warnings. No leeway. No one can see anything past your iPad. Put it down, or go.
Don’t try to lug a million bags on board and stuff them all into the overhead and deny everyone else a reasonable amount of space.
Getting drunk where it’s wrong
In much of the Anglo world if you want to go out and get roaring drunk, you’ll probably be in good company. If you decide you want to do that in, say, Malaysia, you might bother a fair few people.
Haggling too hard
It’s good to haggle in countries where it’s common practice. The negotiation of price is a genuine cultural experience, and a challenge that can be enjoyable. But don’t get so caught up that you knock an extra dollar off something you could very easily afford and would pay far more for at home.
Reclining your seat at meal times
I’m all for passengers’ right to recline their seat once they’ve been given permission by the crew. However, don’t keep your seat back while meals are being served, forcing the person behind you to try to eat while their tray jabs them in the chest.
Flying your drone
This is another piece of obnoxious tourist behaviour that should get you sent home, particularly in quiet wilderness areas or on a beach where people are trying to sunbathe.
Climbing on things you shouldn’t
If locals ask you – nicely – not to climb on something – don’t climb on it. Obviously that means you don’t climb Uluru. But it also means respecting locals’ wishes at Mt Gangkhar Puensum in Bhutan or Spider Rock in the United States.
Rushing the baggage carousel
If this actually was a red card offence, there would be barely anyone left travelling. But how good would it be if everyone just took a few steps back.
Screaming – do you speak English?
This is one of those habits that seems to cross cultural boundaries, that applies to all determined never to bother learning another language because why would you bother?
Under-dressing
This is directed at those who wander around cities like Bangkok in singlets or bikini tops, treating major hubs where people actually live and do business like they’re on Koh Pha-Ngan. – Traveller