Abortion: More than simply solving a problem
Iam a woman. I am a mother. I am a feminist. Abortion is a tortured and complex topic – and one on which parliamentarians will be voting. My comments exclude pregnancies resulting from rape, incest, in girls under 16, and in unusual family circumstances.
As with the End of Life Choice Bill, both the ‘‘always’’ and ‘‘never’’ lobbies need to be heard, then a middle way found to figure a right way forward. Extreme positions serve a valuable function in a democratic society by producing arguments for the pros and the cons, each having some valid points that must somehow be integrated.
I went through a medically hazardous pregnancy, at the end of which both the baby and I could have ended up dead. Doctors made no promises. I had the best possible medical grounds to have an abortion. By my free choice it was not an option for me/us. I was fortunate to have family and community support, and a confidence in the future. However, the fraught experience gave me a compassionate understanding of how it must be for pregnant women with health and other pressures who, without those resources immediately and obviously available, choose abortion. The baby and I survived, and he is now a man I am proud of.
Physical health issues in pregnancy are rarely potentially fatal. Mental health as a valid reason for abortion surely entails more than the understandable acute distress and fear about an unexpected, unwanted, inconvenient pregnancy. Maternal mental health units provide good appropriate support. But where do valid mental health concerns connect with basic if acute human distress? I shared a hospital cubicle once with a woman who said she would tell the doctors it was abortion or suicide, ‘‘but don’t worry, I don’t mean it’’.
As a thinking as well as feeling woman, before making important decisions, I gather all relevant information, and look at the consequences of each choice and who else might be affected.
Iwould want to ask myself whether it was the pregnancy, the actual birth or the 18 or so years of parenting that was my key issue. If under most circumstances, the first two, difficult as they may, can be managed with appropriate support, then parenting can be delegated by adoption. Adoptions are open these days, and not the cruel affairs of the 1950s and 60s. I would weigh a hard year or two for myself against giving the foetus/baby a chance at a long and fruitful life.
As a feminist, I was outraged at reports from India that girl foetuses were being selectively aborted solely for gender reasons. All those incipient girls, incipient women, denied a chance at life! It was technology-assisted genocide, another chapter in the millenniumsold process of attacking women. Then I had to challenge myself on gender bias. Was I as concerned for the lives of male foetuses? They too deserve a chance at life.
As a woman, I grieved with the friend whose first grandchild was aborted, because it would have interfered with her daughter’s OE. As a counsellor, I met women who had thought having an abortion was fine, and were then shocked by the emotional repercussions they experienced. I also was astonished the first time.
On November 5, eight women spoke out about the toll this supposedly simple problemsolving procedure has taken on their lives. They were unprepared for their post-abortion emotional experiences. They called for clear information on this possibility to be included in the preparation for an abortion and the subsequent counselling. Going public with their stories was courageous, and their call should be heeded in the service of fuller information.
As with the End of Life Choice Bill, I believe legislation founded on fear and feelings is not good legislation. In both circumstances, ahead of radical interventions, there needs to be assisted rigorous analysis of the specific problems faced by individuals, and co-ordination of specific personal and communal solutions. Also, there should be personal commitments by women to, where possible, avoid situations that could cause unwanted pregnancies – contraception, rational analysis and the taking of personal responsibility for competently managing one’s own safety.
To reform the abortion legislation, let’s work for a middle way. Ideally this would be where fully informed women would know what specific appropriate support is available at each stage of pregnancy should they make a free, rational and responsible choice to continue it. And in the truly extreme cases the woman’s choice would be attended to with both full awareness and appropriate compassion.
‘‘I would weigh a hard year or two for myself against giving the foetus/ baby a chance at a long and fruitful life.’’