The Basil awards: who has been faulty in 2018
Yes, it’s that time of year again, folks. The recent rain and sunshine have ensured my Newtown basil patch is blooming. Jolene the fox terrier is taking time out from barking at neighbours and retrieving sticks at Lyall Bay beach to stand by in her Santa korowai to wish you all a Meri Kirihimete, and to help me present the 2018 Basil Awards.
Purple Basil Local MP of the Year: Nicola Willis, Chris Bishop, Ginny Andersen, Paul Eagle and Grant Robertson worked together for the region’s good on many local issues. Well done. Take note, feuding local body politicians.
Fresh Basil Pastime of the Year: In Wellington you can hire bikes; in the Hutt you can hire electric scooters. You can brew your own craft beer, take an ethnic cookery class, but by far the most popular pastime was bitching about your rent increase if you didn’t own your own house or marvelling at the skyrocketing GV if you did.
Blooming Basil Local Body Politician of the Year: With a couple of kiboshed projects in Wellington and an expensive building snafu in Lower Hutt, I’m not sure our regions’ mayors covered themselves in glory over the past 12 months. However, they had nothing like the Bustastrophe our regional councillors faced, even though quite a few sitting ones didn’t actually create it. No winner is awarded, but a shout out to the ones who showed that, if you front up to meetings and admit that mistakes were made, you gain grudging respect from citizens.
Politician of the Year: When John Key quit in 2016, he had presided over corporate tax cuts and large personal tax cuts for the wealthy. Our troops were fighting ‘‘terror’’ in Iraq and we were in the process of signing the TPP. We were also beholden to Uncle Sam and the Five Eyes spy network. Two years later little has changed, though the government has. The coalition has pledged not to touch tax this term, Labour went against its own position on Iraq to ‘‘roll over’’ troops there, and the free-trade TPP slightly morphed into the CPTPP. Then Huawei got shut out of the 5G network because Uncle Sam told us to take sides in the unwinnable trade war with China. Key may not have got his flag but our current unradical, freetrade, US-aligned government is his true legacy.
Vietnamese Mint Xenophobe of the Year: Some time ago, National realised that being inclusive towards Chinese and Indian migrants was not only a good thing to do, but smart politics, especially in Auckland. They never bought Winston Peters’ ‘‘rows and rows of ostentatious houses’’ rhetoric and, when Labour released its shonky ‘‘Chinese last names’’ house-buying figures, National cried racism. But by opposing the non-binding United Nations Global Migration Compact, the Nats align themselves with the wall-building US, detentioncentre-loving Australia and Canadian alt-righter Stefan Molyneux.
Caffeinated Basil Cafe of the Year: Travelling to Australia and Asia taught me how good our local cafe scene is. Visit any Wellington cafe and you’ll find the coffee excellent and the service friendly. And there’s even free wi-fi if you don’t mind typing in ‘‘this cafe tries to skim pon wifi 93dflkjSkjvdd499ef’’ three times. It’s not every day that a cafe can make national headlines. Take a bow, Caffe Astoria – you’re a great place for a meeting – just not that sort of meeting – and I love having a place to visit knowing that I won’t run into any cabinet ministers I might have just written about.
Stale Basil Worst Wellington Business: Victoria University sold off a Karori building it didn’t really own, then embarked on an expensive and unpopular name change. NZ Post had Jim Anderton turning in his grave as it closed branches. Wellington Electricity found it difficult to keep the city illuminated at times. Wilson Parking seemed to be everyone’s least favourite parking option, though I like their new app. But when your business gets used as a verb – ‘‘Sorry I’m late but I was Metlinked’’ – you know you’re in trouble.
Yellow Basil Most Popular Destination: Many Wellingtonians reported spending delightful weekends in Martinborough, Nelson and Hawke’s Bay. Popular places further afield included Rarotonga, Vanuatu and Tokyo. But the most popular destination was Not In Service. Why else would every third bus in Wellington travel there?
Healthy Basil Cycle-lane of the Year: After some initial stoushes in the planning stages between residents and cyclists, the Oriental Bay cycleway opened with lots of praise and hardly a murmur of discontent. It seems to have been a model of community engagement and compromise. It’s a pity that the mayor’s compromise for Island Bay cycleway, launched in September last year, hasn’t yet been put in place. What’s the holdup, guys?
Have a great festive season.
The most popular destination of the year was Not In Service. Why else would every third bus travel there?