Life lessons we all need to learn from Jordan Peterson
If you hadn’t read a thing about Jordan Peterson before turning up at the Isaac Theatre Royal in Christchurch to listen to a two-hour, non-stop monologue from the Toronto academic, you would have come away without an inkling of the controversy he has generated around the world.
You would have left the venue thinking the Canadian was obviously an intelligent, well-read and reflective individual whose practice as a clinical psychologist had given him some insights into how people could live more meaningful and successful lives.
Which was disappointing, because I had turned up with a free ticket with my colleague and fellow columnist Cecile Meier. The idea was that we would both write about our evening at Peterson’s talk with sparks flying due to our contrasting pre-conceptions and views on life.
In fact Peterson, who at times came across as a television evangelist in the American style, said little to create any sort of headline.
Even his book 12 Rules for Life – An Antidote to Chaos was hardly mentioned. Honestly, I could have given a better talk about his book and I’ve only read two chapters.
He did have a line about healthy relationships needing a slap for every 11 smiles and he joked that the media would latch on to that for a story.
The audience relished the joke about the media. Clearly he was not advocating domestic violence and afterwards, when we were having an icecream, I tried to mansplain to Cecile that taking umbrage at the remark was walking into the trap.
As a sort of Right-wing public intellectual who despairs of identity politics, ardent lefties and political correctness, I was, of course, going to appreciate Peterson, whose own university colleagues tried to get rid of him.
I was hoping he would talk about things like inequality and political solutions but Peterson was far more concerned about the individual.
His two-pronged argument appeared to be that you should get your own house in order before you start trying to change the world; and the world won’t change unless people make individual changes for the good.
Anyway, most of his life tips were actually pretty much common sense and fell into the category of life lessons that we know but need to be constantly reminded of, especially now.
What makes him so effective, I suspect, is that unlike most of the self-help gurus, he is an erudite, deep-thinking academic whose expertise in human psychology gives him an unusual insight into how life can be improved for individuals and therefore communities.
He underpins his arguments with what he regards as the unalterable truths encapsulated by the ancient stories in texts like the Bible.
And those truths are based on our hard wiring and the nature of nature.
I am, of course, aware Peterson propounds some highly debatable notions and that he is hated by some on the Left and many feminists.
That was why security was tight at the talk on Wednesday. Bags were searched, wands were waved and an announcement warned that heckling or disruption of the talk would be treated with zero tolerance.
So what did I learn from two hours of Peterson’s rambling sermon? I like his theory of Chaos and Order and how we need to walk a fine line with one foot firmly in Order and yet pushing ourselves by getting a bit of Chaos as well.
It struck me that I could have used a talk like this as a mixed-up young man. Although Peterson cops a lot of flak for saying Chaos is symbolised by the feminine, he is not saying women are more chaotic than men. Young men are probably far more disordered than young women and do far more damage.
I also liked his take on routine and mundanity. He argues we should work hard on making daily tasks and routine as ‘‘right’’ as possible, partly because we spend so much time on them and secondly because any routine or order is important.
He talked about clients who came to him at age 40 complaining their ideas about how their lives should go had turned to dust. He reminded us that it takes much hard work to be precise and clear about aims and goals and nothing is achieved by a haphazard, unmethodical approach.
In a non-religious age, it was also useful to hear him talk about prayer. One suggestion he had was thinking each night about the stupid things you did that day and how, just by not doing just one of those stupid things the next day, the compounding effect would soon amount to a much more meaningful and productive life.
He also had a good tip about deceit. ‘‘When you act in a deceitful manner you warp the structure of the reality around you and within you . . . if you deceive yourself and other people you will absolutely pay for that in every possible way
. . . I’ve never seen anyone in my clinical practice or in my life get away with anything.’’
Let the liars speak, he said (quoting the Bible), because they would reveal themselves.
Although Peterson cops a lot of flak for saying Chaos is symbolised by the feminine, he is not saying women are more chaotic than men.