I’m all choked up about risk

Halloween is an opportunity for the big kid in all of us to get a bit of an outing. For smaller kids, it’s a great chance to dress up and have a bit of a scare. Every year my partner rushes off to the dairy to stock up with sweets, which go into a huge bowl for the local kids to dip into. He’s always happy to polish off any that get left over.

But I wonder how long we will be allowed to continue this uncontrolled fun-fest once the Government works out that Halloween has really taken off in New Zealand.

I mean, it’s got health and safety risk written all over it; and, god knows, all risk must be managed by central government decree.

OK, maybe I’m over-reacting a bit, but I feel sure that this Halloween lark must have someone in the Government reaching for their pencil-sharpener so they can start drafting a list of rules and regulations.

It’s clearly not safe for children to be roaming the streets unguarded and knocking on people’s doors. I know most parents already lurk by the gate watching to ensure their children are not going to be harmed or spirited away by an evil troll but, just to be sure, I feel we need a local bylaw at least to cover that risk off.What about those sweet treats and lollies – that’s an accident waiting to happen. I feel a law requiring every sweet needing to be individually wrapped is called for, or you’d have all those dirty little fingers dipping in and contaminating the rest for the next batman or human pumpkin.

In fact, I’m pretty sure we need to do away with sweets and lollies altogether and replace them with apple slices, mandarins and carrot sticks.

Dressing up as ghouls, ghosts, witches, vampires: that’s clearly gotta go or we’re going to have children growing up thinking that these entities actually exist or developing some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder triggered by white sheets, fake blood and rubber spiders.

Tricking – as in the other half of trick or treat – seems to have bitten the dust already as I’m pretty sure no-one ever asks for a trick these days.

You may wonder why I’m on a rant about government intervention. Well, here’s why. Last week, the Ministry of Education said it was considering a ban on foods including sausages, chips and popcorn in early childhood centres because they pose a high choking risk.

Don’t get me wrong, no-one wants to see a child choke on anything and it’s not a matter to be taken lightly, but putting in this kind of ban seems overly interventionist where it’s just not needed.

On its own stats, the Government said there were nearly 125,000 four and five-year-olds in early education last year. However, the ministry had received only seven reported cases of choking on food since the start of 2016; so the risk of it happening is low.

There are areas which need the government’s intervention and areas which don’t. I’m with the Early Childhood Council, which immediately came out and said the proposed ban was over the top and didn’t help people learn to manage risk, but tried to eliminate it.

But just to be on the safe side, I’ll be contacting my local MP to discuss the many Halloween pitfalls I’m thinking we should get red-taped before things just get out of hand.