Mum helps catch catfish, playing him at own game

Her 14-year-old daughter was no longer bright, bubbly and full of life. She’d turned vacant, anxious and was obsessed with her phone.

A 23-year-old man had been messaging her for about a month, blackmailing her for nude photos and offering money. He offered to pay her $8000 to perform a sex act on him, which she did. A fortnight later she had not received any payment, so she asked when he would pay.

He said he would when she sent naked photos of herself in various poses, so she did. He later asked if she’d meet him and a friend.

That was the last straw and the

girl finally told her mum what had been going on. Money is tight for the solo parent, and her daughter wanted to be able to help.

‘‘That’s what broke my heart, hearing that she did it just to help me. I felt guilt. I felt like I had failed her somehow,’’ her mother said. ‘‘I was angry, but not at her. I was angry at this sick pervert who had taken advantage of my child. I’ve always wanted her to know she can tell me anything no matter what. I knew something was wrong.’’

After finding out what happened, the mother used her daughter’s phone to communicate with the man, pretending to be her. She asked if he was serious about meeting again. When he said yes, she called the police, who took over and arranged a meeting with him.

His fake identity was shattered and the catfish was caught after being played at his own game. Denham Jones was arrested.

‘‘I was so tempted to say ‘stay the hell away from my daughter’ but I needed to get this guy,’’ she said.

‘‘I don’t see him as a catfish, I see him as an online predator."

Detective Sergeant Heath Jones recommended that parents did not make contact with offenders and said parents or the victims should contact police immediately.

Denham Jones appeared in the Napier District Court, pleading guilty to two charges of grooming, possessing objectionable material, blackmail and performing an indecent act on a 14-year-old girl. He will be sentenced in February. In 2013, when he was 16, he was sentenced to four years’ jail for a violent sexual assault, his first offence.

The woman said parents needed to educate themselves and have open conversations with their children about what is acceptable to send online. ‘‘This guy targeted my daughter because she’s 14. She didn’t understand the consequences of what she was doing. No kid thinks about that. They don’t realise once it’s sent, it’s out there forever. It’s something she’s had to learn and she’s very careful now.’’

She said parents becoming angry or confiscating children’s phones wasn’t the answer.

‘‘Parents need to educate themselves about social media and always keep the lines of communication open. When I was growing up, boys asked for kisses if you liked them, now they ask for nudes.’’

It’s an ongoing battle that all parents have to face in the modern world of social media, a world that is constantly evolving along with its predators, who hide behind screens. They are getting smarter, knowing who to target, but a mother has proved they can be beaten.

So, what advice can she give to parents yet to find out that their own child has been a victim of blackmail? ‘‘Give your child love, that’s all you can do. They need to know they can open up,’’ she said.

‘‘I have a good relationship with her that she trusted me enough to come to me. It has not damaged the relationship, only strengthened it.’’

Her daughter had begun counselling but since the ordeal her mother described her as ‘‘quiet, tired and anxious’’. ‘‘I’ve noticed a change in her overall demeanour. The sparkle she used to have is gone.’’

The case follows in the wake of Alexander McCartney, a man in Ireland who is allegedly responsible for the UK’s biggest online catfish scandal. His efforts stretched as far as Europe, America, Australia and New Zealand, where he targeted two young girls from Hawke’s Bay.

Victoria University criminology researcher Samantha Keene said parents had to educate themselves on digital safety.

‘‘We have to ensure we don’t blame young people when they get caught up in these things. These are very complicated situations and disclosing them is just as difficult.’’

The Light Project’s Nikki Denholm said the sharing of sexual images was a creation of a new sexual landscape. She said porn had become a primary educator for youth, with 71 per cent saying they’ve tried out what they see in porn.