Sanderson looks at the silver lining

In a few weeks’ time, David Sanderson was due to stand strong at the Invictus Games in The Hague. The games were postponed in March for 12 months, so the Royal New Zealand Navy Chief Petty Officer stood strong instead today (Anzac Day), at the end of his driveway, in his freshly ironed number ones, to acknowledge those who have gone before him, both on the battlefield and on the sports field.

Invictus is for current and former service men and women, who are recovering from injuries or who have been wounded.

Sanderson is wounded too, but his scars are on the inside.

Twenty nine year-old Sandy – as he’s known to his friends – always wanted to be in the Defence Force.

As a child, growing up on the North Shore, he wanted to join the army, but in year 12 David met an instructor who encouraged him to join the navy. At 17 he signed up.

‘‘I get horrifically seasick,’’ he laughed.

‘‘I didn’t know I got seasick until I joined the navy.’’

While it took a toll on his body – at times lasting up to five days – it didn’t stop him from travelling the world and serving his country.

He’s been to Shanghai, saw poverty in India, marched along the ChampsE´ lyse´ es on Bastille Day, found his ancestors while marking Anzac Day at Gallipoli and last year was one of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s main contacts aboard HMNZS Otago when they visited the Tokelau Islands.

Ardern, according to Sanderson, wasn’t seasick at all, unlike the rest of her staff.

‘‘She’s was an absolute champion

. . . up and about talking to everyone,’’ he said.

In 2013 he spent Christmas deployed on HMNZS Te Mana, patrolling off the coast of Mogadishu, Somalia, warding off pirates.

While on that deployment things

‘‘A lot of people don’t realise that you’ve got to help yourself to get better.’’ David Sanderson

started to change.

‘‘The self-worth [declined] and bad thoughts were happening every single day,’’ he said.

Returning to New Zealand, following the seven-month deployment, the frigate was greeted by the ‘‘drums and brass’’, family and friends, who he was excited to see.

But then he went home to his flat, on his own, with nothing to keep him occupied.

‘‘Dark thoughts’’ crept in. ‘‘I started to plan my own death.’’

On what was to be his final day, he was in the kitchen writing a farewell letter to his parents. Then his phone rang.

It was his dad, who sensed something was wrong and rushed over.

All David remembers, he said, was his dad saying he was unwell and needed help.

‘‘And that’s where the journey of recovery began.’’

Recovery takes different shapes and forms for everyone who struggle with mental health, but one thing is certain – time.

‘‘It takes time and effort to ensure I do stay healthy,’’ he said.

For Sanderson recovery includes healthy eating, lots of sport and limiting his alcohol intake.

‘‘It just takes a bit of time to understand what your triggers are and how to avoid them.

‘‘A lot of people don’t realise that you’ve got to help yourself to get better.’’

Talking about the challenges he’s faced has also helped.

‘‘The hardest thing for me was talking to someone who understood because when you feel that horrible and there’s a voice in your head telling you to kill yourself every single day, you think you’re the only person in the world that has that.

‘‘Now one in four New Zealanders have that every year. It’s almost as common as the common cold.’’

The stigma attached to mental health in the Defence Force has also changed significantly since he joined in 2008, Sanderson said.

‘‘I’d never heard of anyone having mental health issues [but] now more sailors are standing up and saying they have an issue,’’ he said.

He even stood in front of hundreds of others, including former Chief of Navy Rear Admiral Jack Steer, in 2014.

He was also preparing to stand up and represent New Zealand at the Invictus Games.

His involvement in sport has helped his recovery, it gives him purpose.

It keeps him sane, he said.

His disciplines include indoor rowing, power lifting and athletics.

‘‘I look forward to training and competing and being in a team; a different type of team,’’ he said.

‘‘It feels like home when we are together.

‘‘We’re all there for the same purpose, to apply ourselves, to achieve something. It’s a nice feeling.’’

Sanderson was training for nine hours a week across each of his sports – his weights equipment consist of bricks and bags – but in March the games were postponed.

He’s cut that back to 45 minutes a day while in isolation, but is still determined to stand on the podium next year, with his team-mates, many of whom were in the best fitness of their lives.

‘‘All I said to them is ‘just look at the silver lining. You’ve got another 12 months to train up so you can do even better and you get to live the Invictus dream for another 12 months’.

‘‘So I’m going to look at the bright side rather than the negativity.’’