Corona champ cha Ahero to grieving families
The rest of the country was preparing for the lockdown when an Invercargill family suddenly lost their son.
He had been in hospital for a week and died the same day that Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced the Government’s alert level plans. The family members hadn’t begun processing their loss by the time shops and businesses began closing down and the streets were emptied of cars.
They certainly had no idea how going into level four would restrict their plans for saying goodbye.
Nigel Edwards was the light that guided the family through what was to become a fairly complicated process.
The family met with Edwards, who owns the Avenal Park Funeral Home, a few days after their son died. With less than three days to go until lockdown, he had to tell the grieving family that a normal funeral was not going to be possible: ‘‘We’re the face explaining the rules and regulations.’’
The past few weeks have been tough for Edwards and his five staff. They have looked after 21 families during the first three weeks of April. Many of those relatives were unable to see their loved ones before death because of the lockdown restrictions.
‘‘Families are struggling because they haven’t been able to say their goodbyes,’’ Edwards says.
‘‘We’ve just been struggling to help families the best we can.’’
He and his team have their own way of finding time to de-stress, he says. For him, it was reading and walking his dog, Merlin.
The days immediately before lockdown were a mad dash to get small family services arranged while it was still possible.
Since then, he has been advising families to host memorial services for their loved ones after the level four restrictions lift. That happened at 11.59pm last night.
‘‘The funeral is about the person but it’s also for family and friends to start the grieving process together,’’ Edwards says.
As social beings, people find comfort in groups, he says.
‘‘We’re not just part of our immediate families – we’re part of a community family.’’
Some people have, however, chosen not to wait. So Edwards and his team have looked for ways to help those families grieve, too.
They started offering fingerprint moulds and keepsake jewellery. They take photos of the casket and even produce videos for those who want it.
For the Invercargill family, Edwards helped plan a special ceremony while gatherings of up to 10 people were still allowed. He involved the son’s friends by letting them view the casket in the hearse.
‘‘He just went beyond what he needed to do,’’ the mother says.
She nominated Edwards as a Stuff Coronavirus Champion, a project to celebrate the essential services workers and community volunteers who have kept New Zealand going through lockdown.
The mother, who does not want to be identified, thinks Kiwis don’t realise how challenging the lockdown situation has been for those supporting grieving families.
She was grateful to Edwards and his staff for their respectful manner. ‘‘To maintain that sense of humour and manage in such a difficult time: He’s a hero in our family’s eyes.’’