Learning to see the sunny side
Changing a gloomy outlook to an optimistic one will happen if the will is there. Sarah Catherall reports.
Are you a glass-half-empty person? You look on the dark side, brain awash with negative thoughts? Give yourself a break: our brains are naturally negative and cautious - studies have found that four out of every five of our thoughts are negative, although 88 per cent of those negative thoughts are actually hogwash.
On the bright side, wellness speaker and author Sarah Laurie says our brains are pliable enough to upset the neural pathways that cause patterns of negative thoughts to clutter them.
‘‘A new year is a great time to start as we associate with new beginnings.
‘‘It’s like starting a new diet on a Monday.
‘‘Any time is right, but the other thing is that when you’ve had time off, and you’ve let the mind stop rushing, we often get epiphanies.
‘‘It’s a great time to start new things and to start a new habit of being positive.’’
To become a glass-half-full person, Laurie says: ‘‘You have to want to. It can also be a hard thing if you’ve got a busy life, a busy family, and life is generally quite tough. You have to want to seek optimism.’’
There are practical things you can do. ❚ Do things that make you smile. ❚ Surround yourself with friends. ❚ Show compassion to others. ❚ Find an optimistic quote or mantra and keep it in your pocket. We’ve all heard about gratitude journals, but Laurie argues they really do work.
Writing in it once a day, at night before bed, list the simple things you are grateful for watching your child smile, or feeling sunshine on your face.
‘‘You also may need to do it more than once, to reset your thoughts and your attitude.
‘‘Five years ago, I went through a really stressful time and I wrote down what I was grateful for three times a day, because I really needed to stay as positive as I could.’’
In 2015, Auckland-based Laurie published a book, Stress Less, after addressing a conference of 350 corporate lawyers and learning that most were stressed, and all knew someone who had taken their life because of it.
She then went on a mission to study the neuroscience of wellness, working with scientists and biologists at California’s Berkeley University.
Laurie says we are all busier and more stressed than ever before. But we take those situations as a given, rather than challenging that as a way of life.
Focusing on our own stresses and negative thoughts, these become the norm.
‘‘What we know is that the brain seeks to do what we automate. Our brain automates rush, and overwhelm, when we need to create new patterns.’’
Sarah Laurie’s tips on becoming positive Say no more often
If you’ve become a ‘‘yes’’ person – always attempting to do more than you really have the capacity for – you’ll eventually become emotionally drained.
Positivity cannot thrive in a tired mind. It can be hard to start saying no – start small, and you’ll notice your energy change, and your optimism grow.
Be a problem-solver
The human brain is an inherent problem solver. However often we let challenges get in the way, rather than asking ourselves – ‘‘what’s the answer to this?’’ Write it down, allowing the thoughts to flow on paper. For each problem, write down a couple of solutions.
Actively choose optimistic thoughts
Neuroscientists describe how thoughts form neural ‘‘tracks’’ in our brain. These tracks have been likened to well-worn pathways in a forest, that we will always follow.
If you consistently think a certain way, this will become the well-worn path that your thoughts follow.
To adjust your thinking to be more positive, you need to practise being positive so that new tracks are formed. Think about good things, spend time in the company of people you enjoy, focus on solutions and gradually optimism will become natural to you.
You can do this for just 60 seconds, every 90 minutes a day – if necessary, set a phone alert.
Prioritise wellness
Seek a healthy body and mind. When our body is well, our biological systems function at their best. When we are stressed, we snap into fight or flight mode, compromising our biological systems.
Then we are less able to manage our emotions, unable to recall important information quickly, and struggle to evaluate situations and make decisions.
Reduce your digital browsing
We book end our days with technology. As the alarm goes off, we reach for our phone and browse. Before we go to sleep, we often browse social media in bed. In between, we reach for our devices in any downtime we may have – at the traffic lights, waiting for a meeting to begin, on the couch after dinner.
Scientists explain the effect on our brain from this digital connectedness – ’’grabbing our attention only to scramble it’’. Our focus becomes jumbled, our attention span reduces and it’s more difficult to problem solve. If an article we want to read takes too long to load, or if it becomes too long to read, we flick to the next item in frustration – our brain is reacting to the effect of being constantly connected.
Manage time online to become more positive.