Violence, sexual abuse, prevalent in teen relationships

‘‘There would have been victims of sexual and family violence in every school in Christchurch.’’ Maggy Tai Rakena, manager of sexual violence agency START

One in five girls and nearly one in 10 boys in New Zealand have experienced unwanted sexual contact, prompting calls for communities to take action to help stop violence in teen relationships.

Research from the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse has found 20 per cent of female and 9 per cent of male secondary school students have experienced sexual abuse, with most cases involving a boyfriend, girlfriend or friend.

Experts have warned the prevalence of sexual violence is widespread, and say adults need to better model and educate teens about healthy relationships.

Maggy Tai Rakena, manager of Christchurch-based sexual violence agency START, said there was not a single school uniform she had not seen walk through the door in her 23 years in the job.

‘‘There would have been victims of sexual and family violence in every school in Christchurch,’’ she said.

‘‘It’s ruthlessly democratic. It happens to anybody, anywhere, no matter what the age or gender or ethnicity. Some people are more vulnerable because of life’s circumstances, but it isn’t isolated down to the poor schools or it’s not just in the rich schools.’’

Tai Rakena said she was not surprised by the research’s findings, which drew on the Youth 12 survey, a 2012 survey of 8500 students from year 9 to 13 throughout New Zealand.

In 2016, the agency saw 62 youths aged under 18, including 42 children, who were victims of sexual abuse.

An Aviva youth service team leader spokesman said there was a strong link between family violence and sexual violence.

‘‘In some teenage relationships, there are kids who have witnessed a lot of family violence and through that they think it’s the norm to have that power and control and coercion in relationships.

‘‘We need to be educating young people on what is healthy and unhealthy in relationships . . . If these young people don’t get that education, then you’re not going to break the inter-generational cycle of abuse.’’

New Zealand Association of Counsellors spokeswoman Sarah Maindonald said it was crucial for parents and schools to encourage conversations about consent.

‘‘I think schools are often quite tentative to talk about control issues . . . people get shy about talking sex. But to keep our kids safe we need to understand power and control.’’

Researcher Dr Melanie Beres, of the University of Otago, found violence and abuse was a persistent problem in adolescent relationships, and it was communities that needed to step up to help young people in need and prevent abuse.

Abuse could include physical, sexual, psychological, and emotional forms of violence.

‘‘We forget sometimes that adolescents are at the point where they are exploring having relationships and sexual and romantic relationships. They tend to slip between the cracks,’’ Beres said.

The New Zealand Crime and Safety Survey reported teenagers aged between 15 and 19 experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence.

Twenty-one per cent of women who stayed in women’s refuges were in that age bracket.

Beres said society needed to rethink gender norms, as current perceptions of masculinity and femininity were contributing to the problem. ‘‘When girls experience [violence and abuse in relationships] they are often blamed for the experience, being accused of having ‘asked for it’, while boys’ behaviour is often excused or minimised.’’

New Zealand Secondary Principals’ Council Canterbury representative and Darfield High School principal James Morris said the difficulty for schools – and the community – was that abuse was often hidden. ‘‘For a range of reasons, people are too ashamed to talk about it or too scared to talk about it so, if it’s happening in the context of an adolescent relationship, then the school may not even be aware that it’s there.’’