On the long road to recovery
In the lead-up to the ASB Summer Starter on November 26, reporter Maddison Northcott speaks with Christchurch woman Fi Glasgow about her journey to the start line.
In the time it took to close her car door, Fi Glasgow’s world was ‘‘ripped away’’ from her.
The Christchurch woman has no idea what triggered the onset of her crippling anxiety and depression, but in the time it took for her friend to climb out of her car and shut the door behind them, she felt like the brave, bubbly and outspoken woman she once was had gone.
‘‘It hit me like a wave. I had a lot going on and then suddenly everything changed. It’s not a nice place to be in – you just exist day by day, but you don’t live.’’
Glasgow, 29, was a keen performer and university theatre graduate. She travelled the country as part of a Shakespeare production, thrived on stage and loved spending time with friends and family. Her lengthy and ongoing battle with her mental health began three years ago, and ‘‘stole that confidence’’ from her.
‘‘I used to be embarrassed and ashamed. I thought people would say ‘what have you got to feel down about?’ but it’s not as simple as that.’’
Glasgow’s mother, a nurse, encouraged her to try exercise as a form of medicine. Soon, she was running, walking and dancing.
‘‘For me, it’s not about speed. It’s about taking my time and it’s an incremental thing. I go kilometre by kilometre and, by the end, I’ve run the whole thing. I just kept thinking, I’ve been through harder things mentally, I can get through this physically.’’
A 10-kilometre run in June was Glasgow’s first race, and the ASB Summer Starter on November 26 would be her second.
Three months ago, standing alone at the start-line surrounded by thousands of people and waiting for the hooter to sound, Glasgow’s anxiety peaked.
There was a time she struggled to step foot in a mall and, to make matters worse, the headphones she had come to rely on broke at the last minute, throwing off her routine. Getting in ‘‘the zone’’ even without her trusty running song – Queen’s – was crucial, Glasgow said.
Blanking everything and everyone else out and focusing on each step pulled her through and she surprised even herself by crossing the finish line without a half-way breather.
‘‘You certainly have those moments where motivation is low. Realistically, sometimes training is the furthest thing from your mind and you don’t go for two weeks or so but when you do, it feels great and I’m feeling much, much better now.’’
‘‘I’m certainly not designed for running but it works for me.’’
* Register now to enter the 2017 ASB Summer Starter at summerstarter.co.nz