Finance genie expected to grant few too many wishes
To say Robertson is in a tight spot is some considerable understatement.
There’s a name given to a man who holds the purse strings and throws the cash around to impress all his so-called friends: Bloody Dreamer, otherwise known as Broke.
They have friends, relatives and close family members, and some end up in high places like Grant Robertson, Finance Minister.
Poor bugger. Robertson isn’t actually a dreamer at all. He’s a political realist. Privately, he’s a very honest man who understands the limitations of what’s possible in politics. Problem is sometimes in opposition you promise stuff you can’t afford or achieve.
And that’s Labour circa 2017. I never heard any mention of restraint during the election campaign. It was more blank cheque than reality check.
Because not only did Robertson and his close mate, the prime minister, seriously raise expectations about what they could afford, but they never really told us the limitations on just how effective their promises were likely to be. Truth went missing in the battle of the hype.
Enough people, some media included, swallowed the beauty pill and boom — now we’re here. Robertson’s Reality Roadshow is a potential debacle playing out before our very eyes.
The pressure is seriously on him, isn’t it? Weeks out from his first Budget, every organisation, pressure group, nurse, union, teacher, hospital, mental health worker, solo mum, dad, working poor, Mr Average and John Long-Suffering, not to mention the odd sub hapu, is banging his door down for more cash.
Remember us, they’re saying? We voted for you, hoping for that new bridge, pay rise, addiction centre, classroom – the list of demands goes on. Did I mention students?
For Robertson is the gift that would love to keep on giving. Except to give it you have to have it, and to have it, you have to collect it. It’s called government income, we all pay it, it’s called tax in one form or another.
Of course, Robertson will borrow a bit more to buy his way around this ‘‘take, take, take minefield’’, but he’s largely stuffed on the income side because Labour ruled out introducing new taxes this term. Full stop.
So Robertson is in more trouble than most suspect. He’s bleeding cash and noone wants to pay. Or stop it.
Turfing election promises is a guarantee of political oblivion. Going broke to pay for them is likely to mean death at the polls, too.
It’s called the real world and it’s whacking the former student union leader in the eyes.
Problem is this: Labour overpromised and surprised itself by being put into office.
Oh dear, we actually have to deliver these promises, thought Grant Robertson. No worries, enjoy the honeymoon, get the baby news out there, smile, grin and bear it, we have a surplus to play with and let’s blame National when the proverbial hits the fan.
Forget Michael Cullen’s advice that surpluses don’t last forever. Money doesn’t actually grow on trees and I think this Government, despite planning to spend millions on planting trees, has just realised money isn’t growing on them branches.
To say Grant Robertson is in a tight spot is some considerable understatement. This Government must be wishing money grew on Shane Jones’ trees.
But no. Even the Greens know that it doesn’t. I think.
So Robertson has a technical out. Increase the excise on booze, cigarettes and petrol. Petrol has been announced. I think booze and the cancer sticks are next. Watch the Budget.
They are instant, they raise billions over time and National was the king of the excise hike. Two cents a litre on petrol raises $100 million plus GST. Oh yes, it’s also a tax on a tax. Just how Robertson needs it. Stock up now or face a hike next month on your guilty pleasure.
Steven Joyce’s $11.7 billion hole might not be far off now.
And, why on earth did we give firstyear students another $300m a year to fully fund their first taste of uni yet at the same time offer underpaid nurses an insulting 2 per cent pay rise? Watch Labour patch up the nurses’ wounds in the Budget, and St John would love $50m a year too, so they don’t have to shake the bucket with fundraising to pay for a critical service.
Truth is Labour has inherited a few issues, but it needs to be honest about its own promises too. I’d rather be disappointed and truthful than broke and in denial.
Now, quick, fill up the car and stock up on the booze before Grant gets you. And try vaping, it might save your life and it will definitely save you money.
And congestion, yep, 10 cents more a litre will fix that. Promise.