BLENDING TWO GENERATIONS
Sitting on the couch strumming a guitar, Georgia Grace says that Rigby is strong, organised, strict, and funny. Crayford, a musician and head of music at Wellington’s Rongotai College, often performs at evening gigs, leaving his partner to care for his daughters on her own.
Does he ever feel guilty? “I know they’re in great hands. The only thing I feel bad about is that I’m not getting time with my kids and you can’t wind that time back. Fran and the girls have a fantastic relationship.’’ When she met Mark Pedersen three years ago, Jo Cordner wasn’t fazed that her family would double in size if they became a couple.
A Year 7 teacher at St Andrews College in Christchurch, Cordner had a son and daughter, aged 3 and 5, while Pedersen’s kids were aged 9 and 11. Cordner knew that a new partner might either come with kids or with a desire for her to bear more, and the latter was out of the question.
Sitting in a Christchurch cafe during a free school period, her wedding ring dazzles in the light. In December last year, she and Pedersen made their wedding vows with their children by their side. In doing so, they also agreed to take on the more challenging role of step parenting.
They moved into a new home in July 2016. A holiday early on in their relationship was a struggle. “It could have been make or break, but fortunately we came back intact,’’ she says. The main challenges – still – are their different parenting styles, and the age gap between their children.
Cordner has been told it takes two years to adjust, and says honestly: “I think that’s about right.” From day one, the couple decided to consider themselves a family, making sure time with their children overlapped. Once every four weeks, the couple take a week to themselves.
Her husband’s children spend 40 per cent of the time with them. Her children are with her three quarters of the time. When Stefan, 15, and Emma, 12, go to their mother’s house for eight nights straight, Cordner misses the busy vibe. “I find it quite hard when the kids aren’t all there. It’s very quiet. The bonus is that the house is cleaner. We make it work,’’ she says.
The kids all get on, despite their ages. Emma is a good role model for Cordner’s daughter, Alyssa, while her son, Josh, looks up to Stefan. “You have to learn to accommodate others more when you live like this. We just make it work.’’
She talks about the need to be organised to run an accordion family’ like hers, and has the air of a woman who actually enjoys the challenge.
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