The upside of the singles blues

Ihad this conversation with a single friend recently: ‘‘How’s Tinder going?’’ I ask. ‘‘There’s a catfish I’m chatting to…’’ she says. (A catfish generally describes someone with a fake dating profile who has no intention of meeting and potentially has some intention of getting their hands on your delicious money).

‘‘…I haven’t bothered to delete him yet,’’ she continues. ‘‘That good, huh?’’ I say. ‘‘Well, it’s still messages coming through.’’

We both explode with laughter. She just wants someone to talk to but knows it’s not worth her time.

When the single girls’ blues hit, you have to think of the best reasons to be on your own.

Sometimes that reason is being able to watch as many episodes of a TV show as you want to without having to consider other peoples’ feelings.

For example, the second season of The Handmaid’s Tale started on Lightbox this week. Only two episodes have been released thus far, but had the entirety of it landed, I would have been able to churn through as many as I’d liked.

Plus, I could watch the first episode and then go back to dip in to the last series to check what I’d forgotten. And when my cat, Bertie, wanted to rub her cheeks on the corner of the laptop, I could pause until I’d angled my computer correctly for her needs and then carry on once she’d finished. I know what you’re thinking. ‘‘Cats’’, ‘‘watching telly in bed on her own with cats’’, ‘‘probably had a peanut slab dropping chocolate crumbs on her freshly laundered white duvet cover’’ – and you’d be right. I was having a blindingly awesome time.

But I know others out there are struggling. Coupledom often creates a difficult landscape. Netflix released data last year, after surveying more than 30,000 people, which said 46 per cent of ‘‘streaming couples’’ globally were watching episodes ahead of their partners and, showing no signs of remorse, most planned to continue cheating.

It said: ‘‘This behaviour only continues to grow with 60 per cent of consumers saying they’d cheat more if they knew they’d get away with it. And once you cheat, you can’t stop: 81 per cent of cheaters are repeat offenders and 44 per cent have cheated three or more times.’’

The organisation first surveyed customers in 2013 and in the following four years, found that ‘‘streaming cheating’’ had increased threefold.

And to any of you out there who are reading this and looking at their partners with all the suspicion the statistics say they deserve, have a little heart. Most people don’t mean to, 80 per cent of cheating ‘‘just happens’’.

Discussing this with a married friend a while ago, he agreed that ‘‘couple watching is the worst.’’

‘‘My partner constantly falls asleep halfway through the first episode of something, so I continue watching for another couple of hours while she’s asleep.

‘‘Then she’ll get pissed off because nine months ago she watched the first half of the first episode with me and never spoke of it again, only to find out I’ve rinsed through the next six seasons of whatever it is in the meantime.’’

Worse yet, another survey at the end of last year found over three quarters of people watch the next episode without telling their partners, and many consider this infidelity to be worse than flirty emails to a stranger.

I know a couple of women who say that if they watch a show ahead of their partner, they simply sit in silence pretending they haven’t seen it yet.

Horrifically, the study also said most people who binge ahead do it so they can tease their partners with spoilers. Dump that cheater now, I say!

It’s a crazy, mixed up, episodic world out there and I, for one, am glad I have the remote control and Netflix password all to myself.

To those cheaters I say, get ye your own white duvet and cat with itchy rubby cheeks.