Why are schoolkids bullied?
Does our bullying problem reflect an intolerant and violent culture – or is it just human nature? Experts and educators are divided, Adele Redmond reports.
Children’s inability to develop empathy until adolescence does not mean bullying is part of human nature, a registered psychologist says.
Dr Vanessa Green, an eminent researcher on bullying, said it often was first experienced through sibling relationships. ‘‘We are at our most aggressive at three and four years of age . . . but we learn to curb that – most of us,’’ she said noting schools, perhaps justifiably, thought families should take more responsibility for preventing bullying.
‘‘It may be that parents are more likely to ask ‘how are things going with your maths’ or reading, and ‘did you get into the first 15’, than ‘how are things going with your mates?’ ’’
Researchers and policy makers say anti-bullying attitudes have to be embraced by the whole school community, but several members of the Ministry of Education’s Bullying Prevention Advisory Group (BPAG) said a degree of bullying was inevitable.
Schools, they said, were a ‘‘microcosm of society’’, reflecting our ‘‘toughen-up’’ culture and high rates of domestic violence and social neglect.
‘‘In every organisation, at every level, there is bullying occurring all the time,’’ according to New Zealand Principals’ Federation president Whetu Cormick.
‘‘Teachers are doing a great job to deal to with it and put programmes in place, but if we’re battling society, we’re just trying to put out the fire.’’
Indeed, LGBT+ and disabled children are up to twice as likely to be bullied. A January report showed Ma¯ ori students experienced ‘‘consistent’’ racism.
Many schools use Positive Behaviour for Learning (PB4L), a programme aimed at fostering tolerance, friendliness and a love of learning among students. It has ‘‘transformed a lot of schools’ cultures’’, Cormick said, but others say its focus on wellbeing is not enough to tackle bullying head-on.
Contrary to Associate Education Minister Tracey Martin’s view that separating bullying from wellbeing ‘‘is almost waiting until the horse has bolted’’, education secretary and BPAG chair Iona Holsted said the group considered pursuing ‘‘a more expansive programme around wellbeing generally, but we have decided to focus on bullying’’ alone.
Human Rights Commissioner and BPAG member David Rutherford offered an analogy: ‘‘If the All Blacks want to focus on scrums, you focus on scrummage, not telling them to get fit,’’ he said. ‘‘There’s an attitude of it happened to me as a kid, it’s going to happen, and that’s just not true. That’s the attitude we used to take towards industrial health and safety.’’
Those attitudes mean children don’t always say they are being bullied, or bullying others. Victims might become anxious or overly apologetic, while perpetrators are more likely to show unnecessary aggression.
Green cautioned there is ‘‘no cardboard cut-out of what a bully is’’. Young victims sometimes became bullies themselves, or could bully and be bullied simultaneously. Bystanders, unsure how best to intervene, could end up on either side of the equation.
‘‘Telling victims to be more assertive and stand up for themselves is blaming the victim. Telling the bullies to stop . . . it’s just going around in circles.’’
She said more research was needed to understand the social conditions that fostered ingrained and often undetectable bullying.