Squeaky bum time for coaches
OPINION: Crooooaaak. That may be the only noise some Super Rugby coaches are capable of making right now.
It all depends on whether their teams are in the hunt for a finals spot, of course. If they are, watch out.
Everyone reacts differently to pressure. Some coaches might attempt to impersonate a happy holiday goer as they giggle at the sun and wink at the garden gnomes, while others would prefer to spend their day issuing death stares and muttering into their soup.
In the amateur days a coach would stride around the training paddock in white freezing work gummies, ciggie plunged in one side of the mouth and wiggling frantically as the expletives streamed out.
Thankfully, things are a bit more sophisticated these days. Yet, the reality is, little has changed. Coaches live for the big games. You also wonder if a small bit of them dies, too. Reputations can be built, or lost, in a heartbeat.
1. With two rounds remaining, what teams have no chance of qualifying for the quarterfinals on July 21?
The Blues, Reds, Sunwolves, Bulls and Stormers are toast. The coaches of these bumblers will already be planning for the 2019 season, and that should please their GPs no end. No need for the blood pressure levels to shoot up if a bloke has already accepted his fate.
The bosses of the Sharks and Brumbies, both sides are outside the top eight but still a chance of qualifying for the playoffs, are most at risk of having a meltdown. Seriously. They need wins.
2. What about the rest of them?
Crusaders coach Scott Robertson is the king of cool at the moment. If his team bags one more competition point, they secure top place with a round to play. That means the Crusaders, currently on
54 points and with powerhouse No 8 Kieran Read set to make his first start of the year, will lock down a playoff spot in sunny Christchurch as long as they stay in the title race.
The Lions (41) and Waratahs (39) lead the other two conferences. They are followed by the Hurricanes (45), Chiefs (41), Highlanders
(40), Jaguares (38) and Rebels (35), who round out the top eight.
3. Will the Lions hold on to win the South African conference?
Possibly not. The Lions have the bye this weekend, so the Jaguares could overtake them if they deliver a knockout punch on the Bulls in Pretoria.
What happens in the final round, to be staged next weekend, will determine who wins the SA conference: the Lions host the Bulls in Jo’burg, and the Jaguares meet the Sharks in Durban.
4 Time do discuss the Waratahs. Are they safe at the top of the Aussie conference?
No, but the odds are in their favour – even with captain and openside flanker Michael Hooper still unavailable because of a hamstring injury. If the Waratahs roll the Sunwolves and the Rebels lose to the Reds, a quarterfinal will be staged in Sydney.
This kak-handed conference system certainly gives the non-Kiwi teams a leg-up. The Waratahs and Rebels have won eight and seven games respectively. If they were in the NZ section they would be behind the fourth-placed Highlanders. Go figure.
5 Are the Hurricanes capable of pulling the handbrake on their slump?
On current form they look shaky. The team with the hottest backline in the competition looked nearinvincible when they won 10 straight. That was until they came a gutser by losing to the Crusaders, Highlanders and Brumbies.
Six weeks ago it seemed nuts to suggest they could lose to the Blues in Wellington tomorrow night. It still seems improbable, but not impossible.