Boom! Swimming with the fishes
Have you ever been naked in front of 50 or so people? Well, that’s about to happen to me. I’m in the beautiful Bay of Islands – being dragged in the water – and hanging on to my pants for dear life. They’re filling up with water like a parachute and it’s only a matter of seconds before they fly off into the deep blue.
Up until this point I was having an enormous amount of fun. We’re on the Cream Trip, which is a catamaran tour around the 144 islands that line the coast near the Northland town of Paihia. The name comes from the original purpose of the trip: to pick up cream from farming islands in the 1920s.
Today, it’s a popular tourist route exploring the best turquoise-infused bays the region has to offer.
We’d spent the morning watching dolphins, at the Hole in the Rock, learning about the Bay of Islands, visiting its most secluded coves, and now I’m about to become an unwilling nudist.
Our captain had announced who wants to go boom netting?’’ A lot of us stared at each other, the silent confusion broken by an explanation from an interjecting crew member, ‘‘it’s a little like a human washing machine’’. Weird little fact: when I was a kid, I jumped in a washing machine and tried to turn it on because I couldn’t be bothered having a shower. It obviously didn’t work, but this ride spoke to my inner-child.
About 20 of us volunteered to give it a go as we heard two massive booms extending out the side of the boat – with a net in between. We all jump in and so far, so good: swim shorts firmly in place.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. As the boat speeds up, the water starts pouring through the net at great speed. It’s a little like a fishing net – most people lose grip and are hurled to the back of the net facing a torrent of water. Just when you think you’ve got it all under control, the captain chucks the boat into reverse and everyone holds on Getting there:
The Bay of Islands is three hours’ drive north of Auckland. Air New Zealand flies multiple times a day to nearby Kerikeri. See: airnz.co.nz. trying not to be thrown in the opposite direction. Some in our group hadn’t quite mastered the art and were being flicked from one end to the other.
Then there’s me: right up the front holding a camera above my head with one hand and gripping the net with the other. Great idea – until I feel my shorts filling with water and then disappear like an ejector seat in a fighter plane. I panic about what to do – but it’s too late, they’re down by my ankles. The entire rest of the boat is watching on from the deck. Consider this a public apology.
I let go, drop the camera, and use the water as cover. I go to the back of the net and with a move worthy of The Matrix I catch up to my shorts and flick them back on. The next second, we all start lurching in the opposite direction and I’m having too much fun to worry about what happened.
The writer’s trip was supported by Air New Zealand and Bay of Islands Marketing Group.