‘People’s ute’ eases the pain
Waata Keating has the names of more than 400 Kiwis lost to suicide written in black marker all over his 1990 Mazda ute.
The ‘‘living’’ memorial has provided an opportunity for those left behind to express their grief and honour loved ones without shame or judgment, the 48-year-old says.
‘‘I tell them not to blame themselves, it’s not their fault, it’s OK to be angry . . . people go ‘they’re weak’, but if that’s how they are expressing it, it’s better they say that rather than keeping it in.’’
The Christchurch man used $5000 in ACC compensation for childhood sexual abuse to buy the vehicle, named ‘‘the people’s ute’’, late last year.
He took it to Eastgate Mall in January before heading north for a threeweek tour stopping in towns and cities between Wellington and Waitangi, promoting his ute on his social media page, No hui, just doey.
The ute has been covered with names of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters who took their own lives.
Keating said the vehicle and his tour were prompted by the death of his older brother, who killed himself two years ago.
He and his brother were sexually abused by a staff member at a former Government-run home, he said.
For many years he was ‘‘consumed by anger’’, which led him into a life of addiction, crime and prison time.
He learned to forgive his abuser, but his brother had not been able to ‘‘work through it’’, Keating said.
‘‘I have different attitudes and I’ve dealt with my s... I accepted that that stuff happened in my past, I need to forgive the people.’’
Keating, who has shared custody of his 5-year-old daughter, Kayelyn, said being a father motivated him to be a good role model.
‘‘It’s about thinking do I want her to have the same lifestyle I had. Hell no.’’
After his brother died, Keating completed a certificate in suicide prevention and psychological first aid with St John, but was not able to gain paid employment due to his criminal history.
‘‘So I just thought, ‘I’ll do my own thing.’ ’’
Keating, who is Nga¯ i Tahu, said a quarter of the people named on his ute had been victims of sexual abuse and most were men and Ma¯ ori.
People were happier to share their stories when they knew of his experiences, including several suicide attempts in his teens.
‘‘Quite often it’s that last bit of grief they haven’t been able to get out, or talk about, and then they realise they are not alone in it and they open up.’’
Keating promoted the free national mental health phone line 1737 on the back of his ute and the sexual harm help line Safe to talk to those who needed it.
National telehealth service spokesman Calvin Cochran said average number of calls or texts each month had more than doubled, from 2058 in
2017 when the service was launched, to
5200 in 2018.
In January this year the service received 6054 contacts.
Calls were answered by trained counsellors and the most common reason for calling was related to depression, anxiety and trauma, Cochran said.