Tips for young people to stay safe online
Facebook. The numbers would be beyond belief.’’
Jean Andrews is on the front line of combatting teenage cyber abuse. The Association of Counsellors’ school spokesperson has 40 years of context as a teacher and counsellor.
‘‘Ten years ago, if students had a row, they would just snarl at each other, send each other notes, maybe front up – boys usually fight it out and it would be done verbally or over the telephone and it would be done and over with. With the internet, of course, there’s instant, immediate and 24-hour communication. So all the bullying, the mouthing-off, the instant reaction and hurt occurs over the internet.
‘Every week, if not every day, I would be dealing with young people who have lost it on the internet and who have sent out messages that are bullying, that put people down. And some of them are pretty terrible – telling kids to die. Or creating groups that pull down other children. These things are alive and well.’’
The HDCA has helped, in that now she can sit young people down and say, ‘‘If you carry on with this, you are breaking the law and could end up in court’’. She wants more counsellors in primary schools, to deal with relationship issues early, so they don’t escalate and interfere with learning, or lead to kids dropping out of school or disconnecting from friends.
Karla Sanders, who founded online bullying organisation Sticks ’n Stones, says there’s still a dismissive attitude in some quarters that concern about online bullying is just millennials being snowflakes – there’s no-one physically there, just turn the damn thing off.
The HDCA has had little impact on their work, as young
If you think a post is abusive, talk to a friend, parent or sports coach.
Even in an emotionally charged situation, take time before responding.
Rather than retaliating, which tends to make things worse, take a break from social media and spend time with people who care about you.
Check your privacy settings – who can see what you’re posting?
Everyone makes mistakes. There’s nothing you can do that means you’re not worthy of help. Try not to fall into the shame bubble.
Don’t wait till you’re in crisis or the situation has got beyond the point of no return, before you seek help. Check out ICON to find the best options for your situation.
SOURCE: STICKS ’N STONES
people mostly don’t know it exists, Sanders says.
She asked young people she deals with what the biggest cyber issues are for them. The most common was not one that HDCA can help with – the scourge of comparing yourself with other people’s perfect Instagram lives.
However, several mentioned anonymous messaging apps. One, called Sarahah, was designed for offices, to allow people to provide anonymous feedback on workmates’ performance. Instead, teenagers use it as an add-on to messaging app Snapchat, to ask ‘‘What’s my best feature?’’ or ‘‘What do you really think about me?’’
Sticks ’n Stones started in 2013 with a cyber focus, but they realised online bullying doesn’t happen in isolation.
‘‘What our young people are reporting is that the people who are being incredibly insensitive, cruel and tormenting other people online tend to be doing those things offline as well.’’
Sanders believes the best way to prevent online bullying is to get in early, before young people are using social media.
‘‘We’re trying to look at how do we change the belief that you can say what you want and people just need to laugh it off.’’
* Name changed to prevent further harassment