NZ’s biggest MJ fan, and why she defends him
Before I called Hollie Taylor, I was ready for a heated, fiery, go-nowhere interview. I was ready for shouting. I was ready for an argument. How could anyone, right now, be defending Michael Jackson? You ask his former maid, or the brave men who spoke out in Leaving Neverland, and they’ll go into vomit-inducing details about Jackson’s behaviour. How he scared them into silence, with his security attache’s help.
Michael Jackson makes me sick. But for Taylor, in Dunedin, Jackson elicits a very different kind of response. He’s done so much good for her, he’s brought her so much joy. At times, she tells me, he was really all she had. When she was sick, she had his cassette and a pet dog.
‘‘Every time I was out for a walk, I played Dangerous. It was my escapism, if I felt unwell. If Michael was there, it was a good day,’’ she says, decades later. Even now, she still drives around town with MJ merchandise on her car. She still has ‘‘a shrine’’ dedicated to the former King of Pop.
Jackson’s fans call themselves Moonwalkers. Their tribe has united worldwide, as his legacy is rewritten, to protect his reputation. In Europe, giant billboards have been purchased to read: ‘‘People lie, facts don’t’’. The fact they’re referencing is that, in 2005, the singer was found not guilty of molesting a 13-year-old boy.
He isn’t the only person to accuse Jackson. There’s a sizeable list of people who were invited to stay at the Neverland Ranch. They have similar stories of his wrongdoing.
Taylor doesn’t buy it. Her profile picture is of Jackson’s face, with the word ‘‘innocent’’ stamped over it. ‘‘My husband said, ‘That was brave’. But I thought, ‘I don’t care any more. This is something I believe in’,’’ she says.
At 43, she’s been a fan since she was 8. Time and time again through her life, she’s been faced with news that this hero isn’t who she thinks he is. Trial after trial, she has thought: ‘‘This is wrong, this man wouldn’t do this.’’
‘‘I felt like I read so much about him, I kind of knew him, but of course I didn’t. I was meant to meet him, but didn’t.’’
When she heard TVNZ was screening Leaving Neverland, she says she stopped sleeping and now requires sleeping pills. People like my colleague Alison Mau and the radio bosses who banned his music have been making her life hell. As someone who called herself a fan, Mau says she can’t listen to his music any more.
Taylor’s own sister has stopped listening to Jackson’s music. ‘‘She was nearly as obsessed as me,’’ Taylor says. You can tell it hurts. Her own family, now turning their backs on her hero.
By now, her voice is shaking down the phone line. She talks quickly when remembering the good days, and tiptoes quietly over questions about today. ‘‘Would anything convince you,’’ I ask. ‘‘Um,’’ she responds. Nothing short of a posthumous admission, it seems.
I can understand why. In a video address, defending himself against earlier allegations, Jackson said he wanted to help children. ‘‘I do try to be God-like.’’ And he was God-like, for many.
He was talented, funny and gave so much to so many. He also had major issues, which were overlooked because it’s not nice to think about the child abuse that went into creating this music we so enjoy. It appears his problems only grew. I see no reason why men would emerge to fabricate truly horrible stories about him. Taylor and the Moonwalkers claim the complainants want money – there is no evidence of that.
The fact is, we never knew Michael Jackson. Taylor admits it herself. We were enthralled by his character. Sadly, our bemusement appears to have been exploited to fuel his paedophilia. The documentary alleges he used his notoriety to convince parents to let their kids stay with him.
This is a betrayal. He broke these families’ trust, but he’s also brought into question some of the happiest moments of his fans’ lives.
Taylor is adamant he’s innocent, but she’s sad for another reason. ‘‘I just want this to stop,’’ she says. ‘‘It’s making me sad because it’s tainting all the good stuff. It’s tainting the posters where he’s looking down the camera, and now they’re saying you [Michael] are a monster. I can’t handle that at the moment.’’
Her words will ring true for even those who hate Jackson. So often, our idols betray us like this. These fallen stars – be they R Kelly or George Pell – have done great things before their fall. Their work was greater than they were.
Now, their followers are either looking for defences or answers. Really, the issue is these people were never God-like in the first place. They were just damaged individuals who found fame and used it to harm children.
Would anything convince you, I ask. ‘Um,’ she responds. Nothing short of a posthumous admission, it seems.