Blokes need good friends

Irecently listened to a podcast about loneliness and suicide in men. It suggested that one thing us blokes could all use is a really good friend. Someone separate from your romantic partner. I then read an article in which 30 per cent of millennials said they don’t have a best friend. This saddened me.

I’ve had six really special friends in my lifetime. Friends with whom I’ve shared a deep, emotional connection.

But the seasons changed and one by one most of my special friends drifted off into their own lives – now all that remains of our friendships are memories.

Some I lost through time, one I lost through my own pig-headedness, and a few I lost through no fault of my own.

All that remains is one friend to rule them all – Chevrolet Jim.

I’m blessed to have been pals with Chevrolet Jim for almost three decades, which means there’s nothing we don’t know about each other. We’ve seen one another at our best and worst.

Now, everyone I know is getting older. Many moons ago I spent my weekends attending 21sts. Later, I spent my summers attending weddings. Then people settled in and started child farming.

This year I’ve found myself attending a bunch of 40th birthday parties, which are much like 21st parties except the problem drinking is less cute and more tragic.

Chevrolet Jim turns 40 this week. That means I’ll be 40 soon. I can already feel what the second half of this experiment called life is going to be like. My feet ache, I stare at the back of my hands and see those of my father. I’m developing old-man skin and I’ve got a haemorrhoid that’s good for nothing but conversations with other old people.

Chevrolet Jim making it to 40 is a miracle. When we were kids, he was really sick and we didn’t know if he was going to live. Now, he’s a normal middle-aged guy taking his kids to the pool, grizzling about work and complaining that he’d love to hang out but he really needs to get on top of his garden this weekend.

We occasionally get on the phone and talk for hours about nothing in particular.

‘‘What did you even talk about for all that time?’’, my wife asks.

‘‘I dunno . . . cars I suppose. The old days? That time we misplaced a Cadillac through partying too hard.’’

My life has been better for having had Chevrolet Jim in it. He has provided me with emotional support when I needed it, with physical support when I needed that, and when I’ve needed someone to tell me to sort my s... out, he’s done that too. Because he’s my best friend.

I wonder if some of the loneliness people feel in this world might be lessened by having a friend as good as I’ve been lucky enough to have.

I can’t tell you how to get one. But I can tell you that if you’ve got a good friend, you need to cherish them. Don’t let life get in the way. Don’t let your family get in the way. Work hard and nurture a good friend because they are more valuable than you know.

I wish all of you out there in reader land could have a friend half as special as I have. If you’re lucky enough to have one, drop them a line and let them know what they mean to you.

In the meantime, I’m off to be the one who hasn’t grown up at Chevrolet Jim’s party and I hope you all have a happy and friendship-filled Christmas.