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Mum’s not the word

I read Emily Brookes’ article [March 27] headed ‘‘Not all pregnant people are women, or mothers’’ and was deeply disturbed. Brookes states that: ‘‘Today, not only are not all people who have babies not mothers, not all of them are even women.’’

This is stated as a fact and is not attributed to a source. Further, the midwife who specialises in supporting members of the rainbow community is quoted as stating the obvious: You do need a uterus to grow a baby, and unless you have a C-section, you do need a vagina and a vulva to push the baby out. Thus a woman’s anatomy is an essential precursor to pregnancy and birth.

The question the midwife and the College of Midwives raised was the use of gender-neutral language so as to be inclusive. This is an issue raised in an Australian National University Handbook, from which the university later distanced itself. The Handbook advocated replacing the term ‘‘mother’’ with ‘‘gestational parent’’ and replacing use of the term ‘‘breastfeeding’’ with ‘‘chestfeeding’’.

I have no problem with referring to the nonbirth parent as the ‘‘partner’’, but to remove ‘‘mother’’ from our language does take away my identity and that of countless generations of other mothers. It is reductionist to be called the ‘‘gestational parent’’ in that it misses how powerful it is for a woman to experience pregnancy, labour and birth.

Many children and adults have parents who are not their biological parents, and they also have birth mothers through adoption and/or surrogacy. The desire to connect with their birth mothers can be a powerful psychological force, even where the experience growing up has been positive. Society these days accepts that families come in many forms and that children may have two mums or two dads, sometimes more, and sometimes just one.

Being a mum, a grandmother, and a daughter is a very important part of my identity.

As a former La Leche League leader who supported many women to breastfeed their babies, I also feel strongly about the use of the term ‘‘chestfeeding’’.

Men do have breasts, hence why they can get breast cancer. Boys often develop breast tissue during puberty. Men have nipples and babies often suckle on these during skin-to-skin contact. It is not unknown for men to lactate, though not normally spontaneously. Men could technically breastfeed with a lact-aid and drugs to stimulate lactation. So we don’t exclude men, including those who transition as women, if we use the term ‘‘breastfeeding’’.

As a former journalism lecturer, I think it is important for journalists to report facts and to back up assertions with authoritative sources as well as quotes from those with lived experiences. We taught our students to balance stories as it is rare that there would only be one side.

Jill Ovens

Ed replies: I support journalist Emily Brooke’s assertion as fact that trans men who do not identify as women have babies. Regarding balance, the New Zealand College of Midwives was contacted by Brookes and asked to give its view on the claimed lack of support for trans and queer parents in New Zealand. Their response was included in the story.