Tamihana Paurini and Shannon Jefferies

Shannon Jefferies, 41, and Tamihana Paurini, 45, are the co-owners/instructors of enSoul, a Paraparaumu yoga studio. They have a baby daughter, Eleanor, as well as Shannon’s children from a previous relationship – Willem, 14, Mathias, 12, and 9-year-old Alessia.

TI was born and raised in Levin and spent most of my career as a professional dancer, including seven years touring the world with the Black Grace contemporary dance company. But I burnt out, lost my marriage and ended up with depression. I moved back to Ka¯ piti from Auckland and started to find my way back to health and wellness.

A big part of that was exercise and I started doing fitness classes and yoga. That’s how I met Shannon – she was leading a Zumba class and I was her client. We became friends and were friends for a long time before it was anything else. I ended up teaching alongside her and we just clicked.

You know how some people are like a shining light? Well that’s Shannon. People are immediately drawn to her. She’s authentic and beautiful inside and out – I’ve never met anyone like her.

We eventually got together in 2015, the same year we decided to start our business. It was a huge year – especially because I had three stepchildren. I have lots of nieces and nephews so wasn’t unfamiliar with children, but I never thought I’d have any of own. Becoming a stepfather was a lot to navigate, but I went into it with my eyes wide open, and it’s worked out brilliantly.

We talked about having a child together for ages and 48 hours after deciding to go for it, Shannon was pregnant. Being a dad has changed everything and this baby has really tightened our family unit.

We’re together pretty much 24/7, although we do teach separate classes. It actually feels weird when we’re apart. Last year Shannon took the baby to meet her family in Christchurch for a weekend and I really missed her. It’s a bit of a cliche, but it felt like I was missing a limb.

We run the business collaboratively, so neither of us is the boss. We make decisions organically and are usually on the same page. Of course, we have disagreements and can hit speed bumps, but we’re good at recognising when the other person is having a bad day or is low, and we’ll be there for them.

Shannon sees the best in everyone – her empathy levels are off the charts.

Sometimes she can worry too much about the business, the kids or the future. I have to say: ‘‘Look, you’re actually going above and beyond, so be kind to yourself.’’

Life is incredibly busy and now with the baby, we haven’t had time to prioritise us. But for the first time in six years, we’re having weekends off and I’m really looking forward to spending quality time together.

SI was sick for much of my childhood and teenage years and was eventually diagnosed with lupus when I was 16. I trained as a nurse but got tired of being pumped full of drugs. When I was 18, I found yoga which really turned my health around. When I refused medication, my cardiologist said: ‘‘If you’re going to be a hippie about it, at least find a good yoga instructor.’’

Which I did, and eventually I trained in yoga, massage and reiki. When I got married, I wanted children but was told that I couldn’t because of the chemo I’d had. I was really fit and healthy and yoga helped to heal me. And I went on to have four children.

I met Tamihana a few years before my marriage ended. Most of my Zumba students back then were women, but this good-looking guy wandered into the studio. He looked quite young and I thought he was about 20. I had no idea he was a dancer but was watching him absolutely nail all the moves. After class, I rushed up to him and said: ‘‘You’re really good, you should be an instructor.’’ I must have embarrassed him because he ran out the door.

But he kept coming back to my classes and after I returned from maternity leave, we ended up teaching together. When my marriage ended, he was a genuine friend, getting me some teaching work and helping with the kids.

Tamihana told me he had feelings for me, but I was scared because I had three kids who were my priority and I almost didn’t want it to happen. He was incredibly patient and said: ‘‘Take as long as you need, I’ll be waiting for you.’’

We’re so blessed with the way it’s all worked out. Tamihana is incredibly selfless and gave up everything for us – his social life, disposable income and freedom. He even sold his car to help me out. We literally had no capital when we started the business, and we’ve ploughed all our money into it, but I’m so proud of what we’ve built together.

I read something the other day that being in a relationship isn’t about compromise but about taking 80 per cent of the load when the other person needs you to. That’s how we work. We always have each other’s back and come from a common place of having gone through tough times such as broken marriages, sickness and depression. But we’ve both found our way back to wellness and that’s something we’ll never take for granted. Both our lives, and our children’s lives, are enhanced by the fact we live, love and work alongside each other.