How to be Ab Fab 2016-style

OThen: The barely used gym membership . . . Now: Yoga (hot and cold), Pilates, walking (with a Fitbit), kickboxing... the lot.

h joy! Pats and Eddy return on August 11, in Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie, which means we can get back to being badly behaved fashion victims, too.

Because the whole point of Ab Fab, in its 90s heyday, was that it gave us permission to be debauched, irresponsible and shallow – all the time acknowledging that it was a great big in-joke.

Fast-forward 20-odd years and the rules are a little different (though the goal remains much the same). So, here it is. Our guide to how to be Nab Fab (New Ab Fab) in 2016. THEN Designers all the way NOW High- end labels mixed with high street/vintage The Nab Fab wardrobe right now includes silk pyjamas (for the day), floaty dresses, fur, jeans that are more hole than denim, backless loafers and face gems. The stuff that civilians think may be a joke but definitely isn’t. The only rule of Nab Fab dressing is: You Must Own the Thing Everyone Is Talking About. If money is no object, then you could do worse than buying up the entire Gucci collection. There’s a nice symmetry to this, as the last time Gucci was this hot was back in 1995 ...

Nab Fabbers will also need something from Alexa Chung’s range (because it’s Alexa); one of those Vita Kin Ukrainian dresses (because they’re fabulous, and Cara Delevingne’s mother sells them); and jeans by Vetements, because they are the Patrick Cox ‘‘Wannabe’’ loafers of the moment, almost.

THEN Facelifts and acupuncture

NOW The vampire facial Nab Fabbers have embraced all cosmetic interventions – eye lifts, injectibles, vampire facials ... They’d give vaginal steaming a go (as advised by Gwyneth Paltrow) if they knew where to get it. THEN ‘‘Sweetie darling’’ NOW ’’ Babes’’ ‘‘Darling’’ is never going to go out of fashion, and ‘‘sweetie darling’’ is hard to improve on. But ‘‘babe’’ (or ‘‘babes’’) is what Nab Fabbers call anyone of any gender. The Duchess of Cambridge is leading the field on this one.

THEN Chain-smoking Marlboro Lights

NOW E- cigarettes Nowadays, it’s all about vapes. The giant ones that look like vintage mobile phones. Oh, the relief to be back indoors, blowing bigger, fatter, bluer clouds of smoke!

THEN Drag queens and transvestites

NOW Gender fluidity and nonspecific sexual orientation Nab Fabbers are totally down with gender fluidity, transitioning, etc. You could say Ab Fab was ahead of the curve on this – after all, as we learnt in series two, Patsy was briefly a trans man. THEN City minibreaks NOW Winery weekenders Think claret in a chalet – the vacay spot du jour is a clubby country hotel to which you can decamp for the weekend with no fear of bumping into anyone who (gasp) actually lives in the country. Phew. THEN Personal shoppers NOW Life curating As in curating your fragrances and your wardrobe. Who knows what this really means in practice, but ‘‘curating’’ is a very Nab Fab word, as is ‘‘artisanal’’. THEN Stolli-Bolly NOW Spanish white, craft cocktails No one is saying no to Bollinger or Stolichnaya, but the 2016 Nab Fabber has moved on to Albarino or Miraval rose´ (from Brangelina’s vineyard). The gin and tonic is back – we’re talking Hendrick’s served with fresh juice (from locally sourced produce, obvs).

THEN Crystal gazing and chanting

NOW Clean eating Nab Fabs are hedonists but also up to speed with all the latest trends – and food, darlings, is currently bigger than frocks. This means the Nab Fabber is conflicted. She has a hangover and quinoa and goji berries won’t cut it. On the other hand, she feels obliged to Instagram her designer latte. Tricky. THEN Leg and bikini waxing NOW Absolutely everything waxing, for starters Ab Fab predated the Brazilian, remember? Grooming, in general, has gone stratospheric since then. Nab Fabbers will be getting waxed all over, nipping into nail bars, threading every other week - it’s basically a second job. And the new $700 Dyson hairdryer? On order, obvs.

THEN Celebrity-endorsed restaurants

NOW Tapas bars Honestly, tapas might have been invented with Nab Fabbers in mind.

You can graze while sucking down Rioja, and the timing thing is ideal: kicking off late, finishing God knows when – why did no one tell us about tapas in the 90s? To think the original AFs were obliged to eat three courses, not including an amuse-bouche.

THEN The barely used gym membership

NOW Yoga (hot and cold), Pilates, walking (with a Fitbit), kickboxing... the lot. Above all, it’s about the exercise gear. Ab Fabbers dabbled with Lycra and trainers back in the day, but now they’re out and about dressed head to toe in ‘‘athleisure’’ wear, because it is freakishly flattering and conveys the impression that you are active at all times, even when nursing a Miraval head. THEN Designer handbags NOW Handbag dogs Patsy and Eddy needed big statement handbags so they could pilfer leftover bottles of Bolly at parties and stuff them inside. But now their bags just need to be able to carry a shih tzu in comfort.

THEN Marrakech (Morocco), Tulum (Mexico), south of France

NOW Cuba, south of France (NFs never tire of Saint-Tropez’s Club 55) Karl Lagerfeld has just put Cuba on the fashion map with his Resort show in the capital Havana, and now Nab Fabbers are clamouring for a chance to wear those natty fedoras (not to mention Chanel’s pearl-studded berets and spectator shoes).

THEN Black cabs and Alfa Romeos

NOW Uber is arguably the most Ab Fab invention since the credit card. It allows women in unwalkable heels who are a) idle, b) never know where they are, and c) have almost certainly had one too many, to conduct their lives as if they have a chauffeur.

THEN Kate Moss and Johnny Depp

NOW Kate Moss and Count Nikolai von Bismarck La Moss is still their No. 1 fashion icon. They also worship Phoebe Philo and Stella McCartney, obviously, but there is no contest: they are just too clean-living. NFs also have total respect for Kate’s decision to exchange her husband for a 28-year-old photographer. It’s rock’n’roll, what do you expect?

THEN Answerphones, CD players

NOW All things digital Nab Fabbers live on their smartphones, love Instagram and Twitter, and are getting into Airbnb, since discovering that all of A-list Hollywood uses it. They don’t like checking-in online, mind you, and resent not being able to ring a little man to sort everything out. Where have all the little men gone? THEN Charity galas NOW Getting into politics Mainly because of Angelina and Emma Watson and Benedict Cumberbatch. The issues that Nab Fabbers care about? Well, anything involving Helena Bonham Carter being photographed naked straddling a fish, naturally. Or Obama. Or Canadian PM Justin Trudeau.

THEN Not so bothered about men (it was all about women behaving badly together)

NOW Same Patsy and Eddy had no need of a man, darling. But while the Nab Fabbers of today are independent women, they still have their crushes.

Prince Harry (who was 8 when Ab Fab first aired) is high on the list. Harry Styles. Daniel Craig. Their Bond choice would be Idris Elba. It’s not complicated.

REUTERS Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley return as Edina and Patsy in the Absolutely Fabulous movie.