Heart is lacking in Home
Ideal Home (M, 91 mins) Directed by Andrew Fleming
Erasmus Bumble (Steve Coogan) is a modern-day galloping gourmet.
The flamboyant Brit is the host of a Texas-based cooking show which seems less concerned with culinary creations and more with his cheesy cowboy caricature.
One of his biggest advocates and chief critics is producer-cumpartner Paul Morgan (Paul Rudd). A former Rachael Ray employee, to outsiders Paul seems constantly frustrated with the antics of his star. When asked by one of the crew why they are together when all they seem to do on-set is constantly bicker, Paul laughs: ‘‘Oh, we don’t get along this well at home.’’
But Erasmus’ past is about to put their relationship to a whole new test. It comes in the form of his 10-year-old grandson Bill (Jack Gore). As his father, Erasmus’ estranged son, heads to jail, Bill lands on his granddad’s doorstep, armed with only a Bible, some cash and a bag of cocaine.
‘‘We can’t have a kid, we couldn’t even cope with a Yorkshire terrier,’’ fumes Paul. ‘‘I should be running the Food Network, not this pueblo with the kid from The Shining.’’
However, Erasmus is determined that this is the chance to be the father he never was to his son. Paul, though, offers him a reality check. ‘‘You’re not a hero, you’re a last resort.’’
Writer-director Andrew Fleming (best known as a director of cult 1990s movies Threesome and The Craft) makes terrific use of his two talented leads and their comedic abilities.
Ideal Home offers them plenty of snappy one-liners (‘‘I don’t mind children in the abstract, but not in the house,’’ reasons Paul) and physical comedy moments. Their tetchy sparring and polar-opposite personalities will remind some Kiwis of iconic 1980s cooking duo Hudson and Halls.
Beneath the smartly observed relationship dramas and the cracks at cooking shows though, Fleming’s Home is slightly less than ideal. The story never compels, crises are rather too neatly resolved and tonally the movie seems unsure if it wants to be an out-and-out comedy or something deeper and more subtle.
A poignant photomontage of same-sex couples and their children over the end credits hints at the latter, but that seems at odds with the comedic melodramas played out in the previous 90 minutes. The film has some memorable moments, but it leaves you feeling not wholly satisfied.
However, turning this bowlegged, roach-backed, odourific rottweiler from a street-hardened hound into a convincing champion show dog isn’t going to be easy, even for the talented three-time world champion Felipe.
‘‘I cannot polish this turd, but perhaps I can roll it in glitter,’’ he muses.
With a plot pretty much consisting of constant pratfalls, some ropey CGI and ‘‘slo-mo’’ stunts, over-explained exposition and an inappropriate obsession with the main character’s private parts (something that producers were already forced to trim after many US parents were outraged by the initIal trailer), not to mention some disturbing ethnic, racial and gender caricatures and stereotypes, Show Dogs is something many adults will endure rather than enjoy.
I would call it Ludacris, but then he’s voicing the main character. Stanley Tucci, Shaquille O’Neill and Alan Cumming are others roped in on vocal duties for this farrago.
Only two screenwriters are credited, but one of them is attempting to distance himself from the project and believes there were at least a dozen others. The movie’s scattershot approach and old tonal shifts bear that out.
I know every generation has its dog movie obsession – in the 1950s it was Lady and the Tramp and the 1980s had Turner and Hooch (both are more than just referenced here) and K-9, and the noughties had the Cats and Dogs movies and Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
But if you take your offspring to one dog day out at the movies this year, no matter how much they cry, no matter how much they beg, for your own sanity don’t make it this one, especially when there have been the twin, but very different, delights of Wes Anderson’s Isle of Dogs and Euro doggy derring-do adventure Belle and Sebastian 3.
Then again, maybe you’ll find you side with the minors’ majority verdict.
Many adults will endure this rather than enjoy it.