Long-suffering first wife of Frank Sinatra never gave up hope of a reconciliation
The Hollywood producer Ross Hunter spent several years expensively wooing Nancy Barbato Sinatra, but acceptance of his marriage proposal never came. She was still hopelessly in love with her first and only husband, Frank Sinatra.
Barbato Sinatra, who has died aged 101, had suffered from the start. Months before her wedding in 1939 to Sinatra, it emerged that her wannabe singer fiance was also engaged to someone else, but Sinatra won her over by promising he would never look at another woman. After their wedding, his wife would listen spellbound as ‘‘Ol’ Blue Eyes’’ practised his latest song at home. She settled into the family life that she had always dreamt of, having three children, Nancy, Frank Jr and
Tina, and supporting her husband’s early career. She ran the household with expert thrift, sewing and darning, and would make bow ties for her husband when the latest one had been torn off by an admiring female fan. She even answered his fan mail.
Her husband’s fame rose and rose as he recorded hits such as I’ll Never Smile Again, which made him the darling of the young female fans known as ‘‘bobby soxers’’. He managed to extricate himself from his contract with Tommy Dorsey’s band, then went solo and the couple moved to Hollywood.
Sinatra increasingly shunned domesticity as he embarked on life in the fast lane. He had a series of affairs, notably with the actresses Marilyn Maxwell and Lana Turner. One of his extramarital relationships, with a showgirl named Dorothy Bunocelli, resulted in a daughter, Julie, who was born in 1943.
A proud and dignified woman, Barbato Sinatra was deeply hurt and, according to the memoirs of her daughter Tina, had an abortion in 1946. After Sinatra’s affair with Ava Gardner made front-page headlines all over the world in 1949, the couple finally separated.
Gardner, who was worried about being portrayed as a ‘‘home wrecker’’, demanded that her lover get a divorce. In one of the only public statements she ever made about her relationship with Sinatra, Barbato Sinatra said in 1951: ‘‘Frankie wants a divorce. So I am giving it to him. He only had to ask me once. I am not bitter and I don’t hold any hard feelings. I think it will be the best for both his happiness and mine.’’
One week later, Sinatra and Gardner were married in Philadelphia.
Barbato Sinatra got custody of the children, the family home, the Cadillac and a cut of her ex-husband’s income. Sinatra got her love and support until his death in 1998.
Nanicia Rose Barbato was born in New Jersey into a large Italian-American family. Her father, Michel-angelo, was a plasterer, while her mother, Jennie, nee Fogacci, raised their brood of eight children. Nancy was 19 years old and working as a secretary when she met 21-year-old Sinatra on the beach at Long Branch, New Jersey, in 1936.
The couple’s thoughts turned to marriage when Frank began earning US$15 a week as a ‘‘singing waiter’’ at the Rustic Cabin roadhouse. When Barbato was there one evening with her fiance, a woman named Toni Della Penta confronted them and tried to tear off Barbato’s dress. Della Penta claimed that Sinatra had given her an engagement ring and that she was pregnant with his child.
Sinatra told Della Penta that he would marry Barbato, who was also carrying his child. Nancy was born in 1940, Frank Jr in 1944 and Tina in 1948.
After Frank and Nancy’s divorce it was said that they saw more of each other than when they were married. He would call her up late at night when he was feeling depressed or after a binge. Sometimes he would let himself into the family home and fall asleep on the sofa. He would join her and the children for holidays. In later years she would cook him dishes and have them sent over to the home he shared with his fourth wife, Barbara, in Malibu. She also gave his valet instructions on how to prepare his favourite foods, such as pasta, roasted peppers, scrambled-egg sandwiches and steak, which he liked pounded flat.
Barbato Sinatra continued to live in California with two yorkshire terriers to keep her company. She attended classes at the University of California. Many of her siblings lived nearby. She remained as ‘‘sharp as a pin’’, according to her daughter.
Their son, Frank Jr, who was also a singer, died in 2016. She is survived by her two daughters, Nancy, a singer who had a hit with These Boots Were Made for Walkin’, and Tina, an actress and producer.
After three more marriages, two engagements, and countless liaisons with actresses and showgirls, Sinatra is said to have regretted leaving his first wife. For her part, she never gave up hope of a reconciliation with her former husband. Once asked why she had never remarried, she replied with an arched eyebrow: ‘‘After Sinatra?’’ – The Times
Once asked why she had never remarried, she replied with an arched eyebrow: ‘‘After Sinatra?’’