Markle’s murky rom-com resurfaces
You might be more familiar with her in such roles as Suits’ Rachel Zane and the Duchess of Sussex, but there’s now an opportunity to see Meghan Markle in a whole new light.
Almost five years after its Los Angeles premiere, one of the 36-year-old’s rare forays into the movie world is now available for home consumption.
Ukrainian director Boris Undorf’s debut feature, Random Encounters is an indie rom-com about an aspiring actress (Laura) and a would-be writer (Kevin) who, after a ‘‘meet-cute’’ involving her spilling coffee over him, then attempt to reconnect – with limited success.
Essentially 80 minutes of conveniences and contrivances to keep our duo apart, the film is basically a song and charisma-free, low-budget version of La La Land or, for those with longer memories, a less-than-subtle retooling of early Uma Thurman-vehicle The Truth About Cats and Dogs.
It’s a movie that would be easy to consign to the remainder bin or avoid like the plague on Google Play (the only Kiwi streaming service it’s currently on) were it not for two things: its japes about the Hollywood casting couch viewed now in the era of #MeToo and the latest British royal’s appearance as our heroine’s sassy singleton best-friend. Yes, you can just imagine Prince William thinking it would be a hilarious gag to give this out as a Christmas gift to all at Balmoral this December.
Markle’s Mindy enters the fray early on, rocking the first of a succession of strapless dresses. We quickly learn that she has plenty of male friends more than happy to have sleepovers and that they come from a range of occupations (a policeman she met after running a red light, a pilot she cringingly makes ‘‘cockpit’’ jokes about).
As rom-com convention dictates, Mindy is the one who initially offers a withering assessment of the main character’s shortcomings (‘‘Sometimes you say things that make me wanna cry’’), before offering advice on how to get back on the dating scene/win her potential beau over (‘‘You’ve got to think on your feet because sometimes you only get one shot’’ and ‘‘A little crazy is OK, just promise you won’t start boiling any rabbits’’ are just two of her lifehack nuggets). She also helpfully points out the obvious flaws in the plaintive cry that real-life should be more like Casablanca or Pretty Woman.
However, there’s a couple that, if Random Encounters were viewed by the Palace, might not leave one amused. On the subject of meeting a gay man, Mindy suggests that while, ‘‘It’s an exercise in futility... it’s not inconceivably irreversible’’ and, claiming to be a size 2, Mindy says she always wears a size zero because ‘‘it’s got to feel like it needs to be ripped off’’.
But, to be honest, that’s nothing in comparison to the more troubling parts of the ‘‘hilarious’’ lengths Kevin goes to to reunite with his caffeine drencher. With the help of his agent friend Ted, he sets up targeted ‘‘auditions’’ to try to lure Laura (who had previously mistakenly turned up to a call for Hector’s Gang Bang 4, rather than a toothpaste commercial with ‘‘comedic’’ results) into meeting him again.
An already somewhat unsettling premise for the viewer isn’t helped by Ted’s query that, ‘‘Do you think it would be weird if I had callbacks at my house?’’ And this is at the same time Laura’s ‘‘dinner meeting’’ with the British director of a project she’s interested in goes south because she rejects his advances. ‘‘You’ll be lucky if you get a part in puppet theatre,’’ are his parting words.
Naturally, after Mindy nearly sleeps with Kevin, it all ends happily ever after, but the overall feeling is that you’ve watched something no one really would have wanted you to see.
It’s a movie that does Markle’s professional reputation no favours and seems like the poster child or ‘‘exhibit A’’ for everything that everyone has said is wrong about Hollywood in the past year’s exhumations of the industry’s demons – all wrapped up in a romcom bow that was aimed at getting us to laugh at what was going on.