In praise of daily communions
How many of us, would you say, take two ever-so-slightly contradictory views about sit-down family mealtimes? We regret that, for practical reasons, the day’s just too busy to fit more of them in. But when pressed we agree, perhaps shamefacedly, that life’s too short not to?
It’s the familiar conundrum of meeting what seem to be vivid daily imperatives while satisfying rather less distinct big-picture ones.
As an aid to resolving this as best anyone can, there’s perhaps some cultural nutrition in the report from independent researcher Sarah Woollett, commissioned and developed by My Food Bag and Stuff, based on the responses of 1100 families.
The survey indicates only 51 per cent of families eat every dinner at home together. Yes, well, many will see the word ‘‘every’’ as significantly limiting responses. Would once a week, or month, or year not disqualify a more positive answer?
That said, we can hardly deny that the nation has a fairly hardcore, if soft-bellied, problem of rising obesity levels, particularly among children. And that it would be wilful to disconnect this from the massive daily advertising campaigns stoking ardent fast-food habits.
The Woollett study does dovetail with findings worldwide that we’re eating at home less often, and together less often, and that the impact of this is not to be measured in nutritional consequences alone.
The evidence is that not only do families struggle, increasingly, to sync up for sit-down meals together, but also that these do not prove to be the occasions they might be, and once were, for how’s-it-all-going discussions, let alone wider discourse on the news and events of the day.
Does this really matter all that much, given that so many of us have our on-screen sources of news and social connection? The answer from researchers – and we’re paraphrasing ever so slightly – is yep.
Auckland University research from professors Dr Jennifer Utter and Dr Simon Denny finds that adolescents who share frequent family meals report better relationships with their families, better eating behaviour and better indicators of social wellbeing.
Few would disagree that mealtimes are ideally a time of family communion and, truth to tell, we don’t have that many of these unless we’re willing to make good and sure we do.
For their part, Utter and Denny would have us see their research in harmony with 20 years’ work in North America, Europe and Australia. Naturally the question arises whether these conversational mealtimes are themselves truly causes of a bunch of happy outcomes, or part of a wider series of health prioritisations within those same families.
But the assertion does seem to be that good, conversational, regular mealtimes are reliably a better predictor of high achievement scores for schoolkids than time sent in school, doing homework, playing sport or doing art.
All of which can make a harried parent feel pretty guilty.
Because who enjoys hearing that they really should have better discipline and skills, be it in time management, or cooking, or even conversation?
The challenge is to encourage and empower ourselves, and one another, in these respects. And doesn’t that sound trite?
Life’s bigger challenges often do.
The survey indicates only 51 per cent of families eat every dinner at home together.