How to help someone after a breast cancer diagnosis
When someone you care about is diagnosed with breast cancer, how can you help?
For every woman (or man) diagnosed, other people are affected including husbands, wives, partners, children, family, friends and work colleagues.
Finding out someone you love and/or care about has breast cancer is a difficult time. Once the initial shock is over, you may find you don’t know what to say or how to support them.
Feelings of anger or sadness at the time of diagnosis are common.
Tips for partners:
• Help her gather information. • Before appointments help her take a list of questions to ask the doctor and go with her.
• Make time to be with her and give her your full attention. Take some time off work.
• Ask what she wants and needs. • Listen to her without judging or trying to come up with answers or solutions.
• Continue supporting her throughout her treatment, wellness plans and follow-up care for the future.
• Usual roles in relationships may change. You may need to cook meals and do housework.
Tips for family and friends:
• Contact your friend or family member when you hear of their diagnosis. • Remember any reaction you have to a diagnosis of cancer is normal.
• Offer help and be specific in your offer. For example, rather than ask ‘‘Would you like it if I cooked dinner sometime?’’, ask ‘‘When can I cook you dinner?’’ • Be considerate. Don’t overwhelm your loved one with advice and information. If she is tired, make visits short.
• Many women love to keep life as normal as possible within the bounds of their treatment. Getting out and about can be great for uplifting spirits. Do normal "girly" things together.
Tips for employers managers or colleagues:
• Ask your colleague with cancer if they want to discuss their diagnosis; look for clues they are wanting to talk.
• Let them know that you are there to give them support if
or needed.
• Talk about topics other than cancer, having cancer may not mean your colleague has lost interest in their favourite sport, TV shows, interest in politics or other. Use appropriate humour. ■ Source: Breast Care Centre, Waikato Hospital