Five-minute quiz

Here’s a question then, have you spent a fair whack of Term 4 yelling? Upon reflection, maybe you have actually spent a fair whack of the school year yelling. Or, maybe not? What is the morning like, prior to school starting, at your place?

Does it go something along the lines of, ‘‘Oh Johnny luv, I know I’ve asked you five times to clean your teeth. I know I’m being a pain, but please sweets go and clean them. Yes, I’ll let you (insert anything cool or fun here) . . . absolutely.’’

Or do you lean more towards, ‘‘Johnny ya little prat, where the hell are you? Give me that phone/ tablet. Get and clean your blimmin’ teeth . . . now sunshine before I . . . ’’

The yelling itself usually doesn’t start the first time we ask.

Nor the second or third.

Nope, it rears its insidious head later in the game.

We are known to use that fact as ammo in the battle. And as the yelling continues, the language seriously deteriorates. The kids also start with the yelling.

‘‘Stop yelling. You’re always yelling at us.’’

‘‘I was not yelling the first time! Just (@#!) do as you’re (#@!) told. You’ll be late for school. You always (!@#) do this.’’

So much yuck in there.

In desperation, we let out the surrendering roar of ‘‘Oh honestly, just forget it. Your teeth can rot and fall out. I don’t care (sigh) go.’’

Giving up after all of that – should have just skipped to the finish line.

The cleaning of the teeth scenario is just one of many. There are also bags, clothing, beds needing to be made, rooms to tidy or homework.

The point is, yelling doesn’t seem to bring about desired changes to behaviour. Everyone just feels like rubbish.

Well, what if we, say, quit with the yelling for one week and see how it goes?

Be warned. This is not going to be easy. You will have to be determined, absolutely committed and so positive.

You will have to stop and think. Speak only after you’ve done that. Then repeat.

Calmly issue an instruction with a timeframe and a consequence if the task isn’t done.

You can make consequences realistic and fair and your kids can make good decisions because neither of you are in the fight or flight mode.

Even you know that what you say is actually what you mean.

Who knew gathering troops for tea without yelling could be quietly satisfying. Yell-free house for one week. Just one. Try it.

Jo Smith is a mother of five wee darlings, a relief teacher and school trustee 1. Which cabinet minister is a former executive director of Oxfam New Zealand?

2. Which 20th-century world statesman had a wife named Raisa?

3. What unusual skill was possessed by an elephant named Dumbo, title character of an animated Disney movie of 1941?

4. What is the profession of Englishman Sir Simon Rattle?

5. What was the full name of the longestablished British music newspaper – now a website – known as the NME? 6. Systolic and diastolic are measurements of what?

7. He was given the first name Eldrick, but the world knows him by what nickname?

8. What was the colour of Queen Elizabeth I’s hair?

9. What best-selling novel and TV series is set in an oppressive theocratic country named Gilead?

10. Which European power was defeated in the Battle of Dien Bien Phu in 1954? No one who denies the Son has the Father; whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also. 1 John 2:23 Anyone wishing to make a complaint to the New Zealand Media Council should first put it in writing to the editor. If not satisfied with the reply, complainants should then write to The Secretary, New Zealand Media Council, Box 10 879, Wellington, including a clipping of the disputed article and copies of the correspondence. Letters are welcome, but writers must provide their name, address and telephone number as a sign of good faith – pseudonyms are not acceptable. So that as many letters as possible can be published, each letter should be no more than 250 words. We reserve the right to edit letters for length, sense, legal reasons and on grounds of good taste. Please send your letters to: The Editor, The Southland Times, PO Box 805, Invercargill; fax on (03) 214 9905; or email to letters@stl.co.nz

1. Phil Twyford; 2. Mikhail Gorbachev; 3. He could fly; 4. Conductor; 5. New Musical Express;

6. Blood pressure; 7. Tiger (Woods); 8. Red; 9. The Handmaid’s Tale; 10. France.