Pay your kids to get ready
lease get dressed – we have to leave in five minutes,’’ I pleaded for the 20th time, my patience waning. ‘‘You still need to brush your teeth. You haven’t packed your backpack! We’re going to be late for school, again.’’
This was a typical weekday morning in my home last year. Unfortunately, my first- and third-year kids couldn’t seem to grasp the morning routine. All three of us have attentiondeficit/hyperactivity disorder, and we struggle with time management and executive functioning. As a result, my kids were late to school – a lot.
During the last month of school, when I was at my wits’ end, the principal called me in to discuss my kids’ excessive tardiness, and I knew something had to change. Fortunately, she was understanding, and I left the meeting with the beginning of an idea. By the first day of school this year, I had completely transformed our lives – the mornings and the evenings.
I accomplished this by paying my kids to perform basic life tasks. In behavioural psychology, this is called positive reinforcement. And it works. likelihood they will repeat that behaviour.
One option is to create a rewards chart with a clear explanation of expected behaviours. To correct a specific bad behaviour, Beurkens recommends rewarding positive behaviour in 15-minute intervals – they’ll receive a check mark for each block of time they behave well. When they do well, slowly increase the length of time. she didn’t brush her hair before 7.20, she didn’t earn her first 15 cents for the day. But, I said, I knew she could earn the next reward.
Jaffa shared how I could have handled the situation better.
‘‘First,’’ he said, ‘‘you did the damage with the word ‘didn’t.’ Next time, ask her, ‘What is that in your hand? How does it work? Can you show me?’
‘‘Ask questions to avoid saying she didn’t brush her hair. Every time she comes up with the right answer, you have an opportunity to say, ‘Great, that’s perfect.’ You set her up for three to four positives in a matter of seconds.’’