Hansen’s Cheika jibe ‘cheap’ and unnecessary
It’s a fair bet Steve Hansen won’t be picking up the New Zealand high commissioner’s job in Sydney after completing his All Blacks coaching gig. Hansen’s ‘‘Mickey Mouse’’ crack at Wallabies rival Michael Cheika was as subtle an act of international diplomacy as any uttered by the safari-suited Sir Les Patterson, Australian comedian Barry Humphries’ alter ego.
The All Blacks coach has a wit so combustible it should carry a forest fire risk alert, but comparing Cheika to Mickey Mouse won’t warrant a spot on the Hansen highlights reel.
Moreover, he can hardly bellyache if an Australian tabloid depicts him as another Disney character before the next Bledisloe Cup test.
Hansen supporters will no doubt leap to his defence and accuse critics of having had a humour bypass at birth.
But, surely, an All Blacks coach with 23 years experience in the professional rugby game, could entertain a charity dinner crowd with a full menu of amusing anecdotes without further straining delicate trans-Tasman rugby relations.
It’s hard to imagine an All Blacks coach of the past making a Mickey Mouse jibe. A greenhorn in his 30s – just retired as a player – might make such a slip, but not a bloke on the brink of blowing out 60 candles on his next birthday cake.
You’d think Hansen would be more circumspect, given Cheika was, understandably, incandescent over the way the All Blacks handled the so-called Spygate bugging episode at the All Blacks’ Manly hotel in 2016.
Hansen’s guard may have been down when he rocked up to Wellington’s Circa Theatre on Monday as the guest speaker at a Theatre Artists fundraising dinner. The compere, Ian Fraser, had helped hone Hansen’s PR image in 2012, so the All Blacks coach wouldn’t have been expecting a curveball.
But, when Fraser dusted off Wallabies’ great Mark Ella’s hoary barb that Mickey Mouse could coach the All Blacks, Hansen could have opted for a verbal sidestep.
Instead, he said: ‘‘They’ve got Mickey Mouse coaching Aussie.’’
To be fair, Hansen qualified his comment by saying: ‘‘Michael Cheika, who by the way isn’t a bad bloke, he just gets a bit emotional, and as you well know we thought we’d get him emotional and take his mind off the job.’’
Australia suffered their worst record for 60 years with four wins from 13 tests in 2018, so it wouldn’t have been constituted a Trade Descriptions Act breach to describe the state of the game across the ditch as ‘‘mickey mouse’’. But, to apply the world’s most famous cartoon character’s name to the coach in the next box was a step too far.
Hansen’s tongue may have been firmly wedged in his cheek, but his crack could be construed a cheap shot.
Former Wallabies wing Drew Mitchell clearly thought so, telling AAP that Hansen’s sally was against everything the All Blacks stand for – publicly, at least.
‘‘You hear the stories about them sweeping out the sheds and things like that – they’ve been the pinnacle of the game on and off the field. It’s disappointing to think perhaps that a boozy lunch, where he thinks things will be kept in house, that that may be their true opinion.
‘‘When everyone’s watching he’ll say what everyone wants to hear, but when it’s behind closed doors in an environment where they think no quotes will be taken, then it comes out.’’
It would be naive to argue Hansen did not know his comments would be reported – especially when journalists had been invited to cover the event.
And, you can’t blame the mainstream media. What was stopping anyone in the audience from recording his comment on a mobile phone and plastering it through the social media universe?
Hansen has admitted he didn’t mind winding up British and Irish Lions coach Warren Gatland in 2017, but felt the New Zealand Herald went too far depicting Gatland as a cartoon clown.
Hansen’s revelation that the All Blacks had a deliberate policy of referring to Cheika as ‘‘Australian coach’’, rather than by name, is no surprise.
Rugby is rife with mind games.
In his days as Australia coach, Eddie Jones seemed to banish the ‘‘All Blacks’’ phrase from his lexicon, instead referring to his rivals as ‘New Zealand’.
While Mitchell was right, the Wallabies can’t whinge too much. Remember Sydney’s Daily Telegraph publishing a caricature of Richie McCaw ‘‘as the Richity Grubb’’ in 2015, accusing him of dark arts at the breakdown?
You’d think the All Blacks would be more sensitive, though, after the Manly hotel ‘‘bugging’’ fiasco. Cheika and the Australian rugby establishment were livid when the All Blacks waited five days – until test match day – before asking hotel staff to alert the police to the presence of an alleged listening device.
Hopefully, Hansen – who claims he speaks to England’s Eddie Jones most weeks – has been on the blower to Cheika to say: ‘‘Let’s flush the dunny, cobber. See you in Perth in August for the Bledisloe, and a beer.’’