Grief centre grows in the south
Jonathan Muhl remembers walking past a Loss and Grief centre and laughing with a family member about how grim the idea of was for a grief building.
Little did he know then he would be back inside the building in January, 2017, to attend his first grief session after a family member passed away.
He recalls the first session as being intense with a lot of crying and in the latter days other emotions evolved like laughter.
The business of grief is growing in Southland, and it’s one Caroline Loo knows only too well.
In 2010, her daughter, Sara, died from meningococcal septicemia which was a time she describes as causing her and her family significant trauma.
On the fifth anniversary of Sara’s death, Loo resigned from her job to focus on opening the drop in centre which took another 11 months to open.
Starting the Loss and Grief Centre was challenging because nothing like it had been done around the country before, Loo says. ‘‘It’s not like you can say this is up in Auckland, you can go and use this.’’
In three years the centre has gone from Loo fronting it singlehandedly to now having seven part-time contractors and five volunteers and it runs services across Southland. It also has six trustees who generously volunteer their time and skills.
A charitable trust runs the centre. And the centre’s team delivers services in collaboration with a number of other community organisation’s like Southland Hospital, Gore Hospital, midwives Family Works, Age Concern, schools, GPs, Victim Support, Jubilee Budget Advisory Service and the Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust to name a few.
The collaborations works across health social and education needs. Loo also has plans to add an additional counselling service to support people who identify that they would like to focus on some ongoing support from a counsellor.
The centre breaks down barriers, that can occur with traditional counselling.
Traditional counselling requires booking appointments and in some cases people have to fit an eligibility criteria before they get help.
At the grief centre anyone can walk into a drop-in session and that gives control to the individual, Loo says.
At present they are trying to secure funding to support the new counselling service.
The centre’s innovative approach of gifting brightly coloured survival packs to address emotional wellbeing has also created interest nationwide.
The packs include items with significant meanings such as a band aid to remind a person that it takes time to heal and a tea bag to remind a person to relax.
The kits purposely look like party packs to make them more approachable to conversations around loss and grief.
The packs were launched as part of mental health awareness week but believed it was more about emotional wellbeing, Loo said.
People know that emotions need to be approached but because it was sometimes difficult to start the conversation the survival kits helped, Loo said.
‘‘What these packs do is just give people a chance to start talking about grief and explore their emotional wellbeing a little bit more.’’
The survival packs have gained interest in Te Anau, Queenstown and further across the country, with a business in Auckland approaching them for the kit, Loo said.
Although always community minded, the nine year journey from her daughter’s death to helping others has given Loo a greater level of understanding, empathy and compassion.
‘‘I’m a totally different person. ‘‘I have changed on the the inside in ways I could have never ever anticipated.’’
She has published two books to date about her and her family’s journey since losing Sara.
Sara’s Fight For Life comprises of a journal her family kept for her during the 10 weeks she fought to survive. Loo’s second book Grief and Faith explores how she drew on her faith for support and comfort while dealing with grief.
As for Muhl, he says there isn’t a timeframe for grief.
The loss of someone stays with you even if it becomes manageable, he says.
‘‘What these packs do is just give people a chance to start talking about grief and explore their emotional wellbeing a little bit more.’’ Caroline Loo