My teen is hysterical about coronavirus
Question:
My 14-year-old daughter is having panic attacks about this coronavirus. She is worried one minute about her grandparents who live a few streets away and then hysterical the next that we’re all going to die. I can’t get her to calm down. I know it’s a real thing and by the time I’ve written this down, the situation will have changed again. But she can’t keep living with such a high level of anxiety. She knows as much as anyone and probably more. I try to limit her news sites but of course, it’s everywhere.
Answer:
This generation of children has grown up with graphic news stories available all the time. Alarming events can be played and replayed and we know many children already live in an overanxious state. Here now is a real threat in your daughter’s life and her heightened sense of preparedness is at blow-out.
She won’t want to live like this so hopefully she’ll be receptive to you trying to help. Shutting out the news flow on coronavirus is impossible but some perspective in deciphering the reports would be helpful.
Use this opportunity to build on your daughter’s media awareness skills by helping her recognise the facts, the stats, the reliable news sources, etc. You can also help her prepare for this virus on a practical level.
I’d remove her phone and laptop at night for her own good, talk with her about ways she can reduce her anxiety and try some mind calming techniques together, especially before she goes to bed. Get her a natural sleep remedy – and heaven forbid, a book. You could lie down and read with her as you nurse her mind back to stability.
Really practical stuff might involve planting food for the winter months ahead and what you might sow directly to be ready for next spring. It’s literally a grounding and positive experience to dig over some garden and plant a crop for future meals. This activity will help her on many levels.
Then there’s cooking. How many young people know what on Earth they should do with a bag of dried lentils or some polenta? What about a basic soup recipe? Why don’t you select some recipes and prepare food from the most basic beginnings? Take advantage of the glut of produce available now at the end of summer and get cooking – a cream of zucchini soup perhaps?
It will also be useful to know that your 14-year-old can be relied on to step up if you get sick. She can freeze any surplus or feel the satisfying joy of passing prepared meals onto others in the community who need help. (I see that many community facebook pages are reaching out to the people in isolation. This is a good way to use social media).
Her grandparents are vulnerable, as are all our elderly folk. She can run errands for them, set up Facetime so they can keep connected if we have a lockdown and she can cook for them now.
■ Mary-anne Scott has raised four boys and written four novels for young adults, all of which have been shortlisted for the NZ Book awards for children and young adults.
■ Please note that Mary-anne is not a trained counsellor. Her advice is not intended to replace that of a professional counsellor or psychologist.