Shrek rip-off falls flat

Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs (G, 92 mins) Directed by SungHo Hong Reviewed by James Croot ★★

Everything changed the day the Fearless Seven saved a woman and defeated a dragon.

The heroes of Fairytale Island made an egregious error in judgment, recoiling in horror at their perceived princess’ green skin. Outraged by their snub and subsequent attack, the witch placed a curse on Merlin, Arthur, Jack, Hans, and the triplets Pino, Noki and Kio.

Whenever anyone sets eyes upon them, they will see short, stubby, verdant dwarves. Only a kiss from ‘‘the most beautiful woman in the world’’ will break the spell.

Elsewhere on the island, Queen Regina has problems of her own.

Sure she managed to persuade the king to marry her and she’s gained control of the castle, but she just can’t get her magic tree to produce the fruit of eternal youth she craves.

Now, time and subjects are running out.

She has transformed half the kingdom into various creatures and the King’s daughter Snow White has started to grow suspicious of where her father is and what Regina is up to behind closed doors.

And yet, could she be the key to Regina’s plans?

Billed as a parody with a twist,

Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs isa second-rate Shrek rip-off, which somewhat disturbingly mixes knockabout kids’ humour with the premise of the Farrelly brothers’

Shallow Hal.

Something might have been lost in translation in the creation of this South Korean animation, because the ‘‘it’s what’s on the inside that counts’’ message seems occasionally drowned out by the idea that a pair of shoes can transform you into a luminous, lithe vision of beauty.

Among the forgettable songs and problematic morals there are sporadic moments of adventure and humour, with the under-used Prince Average providing the best lines.

One sequence involving his frustrated attempts to get princesses to come to his birthday party – ‘‘Ariel says she’s waxing her legs, Sleeping Beauty has insomnia’’ – offered some genuine laughs.

But it was a rare moment in a movie whose hero’s repeated catchphrase is ‘‘you just got Merlin-ed’’, suggests ‘‘apples are the most suspicious of fruit’’, and whose Tangled conceit only ends up making one yearn for a little Disney, Dreamworks or Pixar quality, instead of this tired old collection of genre tropes.

A tragic waste of vocal talent such as Chloe Grace Moretz, Sam Claflin, Gina Gershon, and Patrick Warburton, Red Shoes is an illfitting, forgettable farrago.