‘Dark times can, and will, be bright again’

An Invercargill woman who knew about 30 people who took their own lives now wants to help others who have lost loved ones.

The woman said she completed a support programme that helped her to grow and heal, and she wants other people to be aware help is out there and they don’t have to struggle alone.

She completed the Able Charitable Trust waves programme, which comprises eight sessions, and is designed to help adults bereaved by suicide to develop resources to make them more resilient.

The woman said she had her own internal battles after about 30 people known to her committed suicide over a 25-year period. These included cousins, friends, children of friends and people associated with her working history.

It had affected her mental health and her life in general, she said. But when doing the waves course she was able to start forgiving herself for the things she missed and didn’t do, she said.

The programme helped her understand contributing factors leading up to her losses, ‘‘factors I could not have controlled. This was massive in reducing my self-blame’’.

Members of the group shared real and raw details. They cried, laughed, listened, learned and healed together during the programme, she said.

‘‘Being able to relate to someone was so powerful in my journey.’’

She urged those people contemplating suicide to instead choose life, saying: ‘‘The dark times can, and will, be bright again.’’

Able Charitable Trust chief executive Sarah Dowie, the former Invercargill MP, said the organisation had so far supported 30 people with their journey through grief in previous programmes, with another programme in Gore having begun at the end of last month.

New Zealand had a mental health crisis and its suicide rates were ‘‘appalling’’, with 654 Kiwis dying from suicide in the 12 months to June 2020, down from 685 suicide deaths in the previous 12 months, with many more attempting suicide in that time.

In the Southern District Health Board area, covering Otago and Southland, 570 people took their own lives in the 12 years between July 2007 and June 2019, Dowie said.

She said Able’s waves programme helped participants explore aspects of their grief as they learned strategies on how to care for themselves and others.

‘‘It’s about an adjustment to living with their loss and moving forward.’’