Blind mum finds people’s intolerance hard to accept
Dealing with the public’s opinion towards herself and her young children is one of the most challenging aspects of being legally blind for Christchurch mother of two, Loren Harris.
Harris, 28, is mother to Noah, 7, and Saxton, 2. She was born with cataracts and has developed glaucoma. Her left eye is a prosthetic and the right eye has low, deteriorating vision.
‘‘I lost the sight in my left eye when I was 20. The retina detached and I had surgery to try and fix it but it couldn’t be corrected,’’ she said..
‘‘My right eye has a very small peripheral field and the central vision that I do have is quite blurry. Sitting across from people I can make out their facial features, but the finer details are disappearing.
‘‘Because of the glaucoma it has always been a possibility that I could lose the sight in my right eye completely, but I was told it was something that could happen further down the line when I’m older, but unfortunately it isn’t working out that way and it’s going.’’
Harris is taking the vision loss as it comes, unsure of how quickly her remaining vision will deteriorate.
‘‘I might not notice it, which has happened. I’ve lost the peripheral vision without noticing.’’
Up to about three years ago, she was independent and mobile. She was working as a hairdresser apprentice when suddenly she lost a large chunk of sight and had to stop the apprenticeship.
‘‘I turned into a hermit. I stopped going out anywhere, I couldn’t even manage going down to the end of the street.
‘‘Then I got in touch with The Blind Foundation and they taught me how to use a cane, which was amazing, I love it. It’s given me so much opportunity to go out and do things that everyone else gets to do.’’
She faces daily challenges, most of which she has learnt to negotiate, but one of the biggest is the public perception.
‘‘I’ve been told that I am ‘selfish for having children’, that my kids are ‘missing out’ and people have said that they feel ‘sorry for my children’.
That sort of intolerance can be really hard to deal with and it’s pretty frequent; at least weekly I’ll get a comment from somebody, whether it’s positive or negative.
‘‘Some days I ask myself: do I really want to go out today?
‘‘That attitude can get to you but you’ve got to build up a resilience.’’ There are some fantastic people out there though. ‘‘Teenage boys are amazing at offering up their seat on the bus.’’
Being a parent with low vision was no more challenging than what a sighted parent faced, ‘‘just different’’. There were some tasks that could be hard, such as transportation and shopping, she said.
Her primary mode of transport is bussing and walking, but bussing is not always easy with a toddler in tow.
‘‘Saxton isn’t always happy to bus. When she’s tired she can get pretty loud. So dealing with people’s comments about her behaviour can be an issue because it’s not like I can choose to go in a car, bussing is my only option.’’
It can often take her a long time to get places around the city, which can be hugely limiting.
Grocery shopping can also be a mission as she is unable to use a pram or trolley.
‘‘I carry Saxton in the front pack and have my cane in one hand, so that leaves just one hand for carrying shopping. It limits how much I can buy, meaning it takes about three trips to the supermarket each week to feed our family of four.’’
Harris worries about financial future for her family.
It is tight living on her husband’s single income and she is looking for employment, albeit in a different field than the career path she was on.
‘‘We want to be able to afford a house long term and I want to be able to provide everything that my kids need. It’s a big concern for me . . . how am I going to be able to do this if I lose my sight?’’ the