The new Kondo is all about energy
When she was in her 40s, Gretchen Rubin tackled happiness as a project because that’s how Rubin rolls. She was already happy. She wanted to be happier.
Her quest, resulting in the No 1 bestseller The Happiness Project, inspired women to shed bad practices and develop far better ones.
The 2009 book launched Gretchen Rubin Inc, which encompasses more titles, book sales of 3.5 million, a communitysourced app (Better) and a podcast (Happier) that has been downloaded 70 million times.
Rubin, 53, is a former editor in chief of the Yale Law Journal and clerk for Supreme Court Justice Sandra O’Connnor.
She lives in a sumptuous Upper East Side triplex, with her husband, Jamie, a private equity fund manager; a daughter (with another in college); and a cockapoo. Her home is Architectural Digest-gorgeous. And beyond tidy.
Rubin is a Type A Plus. Now, imagine that Type A Plus person telling you how to live, through her blog, podcast and books. Such gumption makes Rubin a polarising figure. Many groan when they hear her name.
Yet, in the past decade, Rubin has become a popular savant on self-improvement. That’s the core of the Rubin paradox: Why do people seek advice from someone who appears to have achieved so much so effortlessly – and who flits from topic to topic with the supreme confidence of an authority on all of them?
Two years ago, Rubin published The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too).
She calls her theory ‘‘the most major insight I felt I’ve had in my whole life’’.
Rubin never uses the term ‘‘self-help,’’ though her books are labelled as such. In many ways, she is filling the be-a-better-you space long occupied by glossy women’s magazines when they were thriving: fast fixes, quizzes, labels and comfort. This year, Rubin launched two online courses: one on happiness, the other on her four tendencies. About 10,000 people enrolled.
While researching Tendencies, she jotted down notes for Outer Order, Inner Calm, a collection of more than 120 random tips and aphorisms, though mainly it’s about clutter.
Yes, clutter. In a KonMari method-mad world, do we need another book on clutter? And, isn’t producing another book on clutter a further act of clutter?
‘‘If there’s a book that’s been hugely successful, it’s usually a sign that people are really interested in the subject,’’ says Rubin, a passionate fan of Marie Kondo.
Kondo doesn’t like a lot of books. Rubin’s home is filled with them. Kondo asks if a thing ‘‘sparks joy’’. Rubin prefers asking ‘‘Does this energise me?’’
Why are we experiencing this anti-clutter moment? ‘‘The world just feels very noisy and overwhelming,’’ Rubin says.
‘‘One way to bring down the noise in your head is to bring down the noise in your environment and to make your life easier and calmer.’’
She wants to help. She needs to help. Her younger sister Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer who co-hosts Rubin’s podcast, wryly dubbed her a ‘‘happiness bully’’.
I was shocked to learn that Rubin gets up as late as 6am; less so that she maintains the same schedule on weekends and holidays. Rubin’s suggestions tend to be rooted in common sense. She rarely writes about money and celebrity.
She calls herself a classic ‘‘underbuyer,’’ a master of thrift, someone who doesn’t have enough gloves in the house when winter arrives.
She loves to share – her diet, her lists – which endears her to acolytes. Nor is Rubin afraid to abandon something or admit there are whole areas that don’t interest her, like music. She tried meditation twice. ‘‘Got nothing out of it,’’ she says.
Rubin is fit, slender. ‘‘I gave up carbs,’’ Rubin says. And sugar. And fat. She rarely drinks. Any bad habits? ‘‘I am a terrible hair twister.’’
Order becomes her. She compiled 19 resolutions for 2019, including reading Proust, developing merchandise and learning to play the ukulele.
Must our lives always be under construction, each day tasked with becoming ordered, calmer, better, happier, more? Can’t we simply be?
‘‘That’s one of the central tensions within happiness,’’ Rubin says. ‘‘It’s a crucial thing to think about because, on one hand, you want to accept yourself, and on the other hand, you want to expect more from yourself.’’ – Washington Post