Ailing computer finally gives up

The build-up to Christmas is always harrowing, stressful and tiring. In fact, I’m guessing that by the time we enter the last few days before the festive season begins in earnest, most of us just want to have a good sleep. And, believe me, I know all about sleep after the past week or so, and it’s not that I’ve been indulging in any extra shut-eye.

No, I’ve been battling with a computer that has become more and more somnolent with every passing day.

As you probably know, unattended computers shut off their screens after long periods of inactivity and ‘‘wake up’’ when you hit a key. Usually this is a pretty rapid process, but our computer has been taking longer and longer to wake up from its naps.

It got to the point that you could be sitting staring at a blank screen for up to two or three minutes while waiting impatiently for the computer to wake from its slumbers.

Last week the situation worsened and I was beginning to think the computer had become infected by a little-known Rip Van Winkle virus. However, repeated computer protection scans revealed nothing.

Each time the machine went to sleep it was taking progressively longer to stir into life until finally it wouldn’t wake up at all.

I tried turning the computer off and then on again but even this reboot up the backside didn’t stir the machine into life.

As a last resort I unplugged the computer completely and left it overnight. I decided I needed some sleep even more than it did.

Next morning when I plugged the computer back in again it reluctantly struggled into life after a few minutes. You could virtually see it rubbing its sleepbefuddled eyes.

All went well and I was finally able to get some work done. However, the problem returned when I left the machine unattended and it went to sleep again. Even unplugging it was to no avail.

It was time to call in expert help and a local computer technician took the offending machine away to see if he could inject some life into it.

He did indeed manage to shake the computer out of its prolonged reverie but it fell back into old habits after a day’s labours. It would seem the problem is with the motherboard and, given the age of the computer, it’s more cost-efficient to buy a new machine than replace the offending part.

As a temporary measure, he adjusted the computer so it didn’t go to sleep.

But my recent troubles with electronics didn’t end there. When I was taking an enforced break from the computer, I had no excuse but to help my wife with her Christmas lights. I say her lights because I have long failed to muster enthusiasm for the annual ritual of having to untangle metres of cable trying to find out why lights that were working perfectly well when they were packed away, now refuse to illuminate.

Consequently, I spent a chunk of Saturday changing batteries and checking wiring in a bid to throw some light on our upcoming festivities.

Some success was inevitable because Jill has amassed a collection of light streamers that would put Blackpool illuminations to shame – if they could be coaxed into all working at the same time.

So, while we did get several strings working, we (or more accurately, I) failed miserably with a few others, which stubbornly refused to come out of their year-long hibernation and light up our lives.

Perhaps they are suffering from the same syndrome as our now insomniac computer and just in need of a deep sleep.

I certainly had an almost irresistible urge to boot them – right into the rubbish bin.