Mothers of the bride/groom – what to wear?
Being the mother of the bride or groom is exciting, but it can also be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding what to wear.
MOB and MOG dresses can get a bad rap for being ‘‘matronly,’’ but there are so many elegant options that are both appropriate and chic.
Bottom line, you want to look gorgeous, so here is some sage advice from theknot.com and weddingideasmag.com, to help you choose.
PROTOCOL
Traditionally, the mother of the bride buys her dress first, to subtly dictate what the mother of the groom will wear. However, this approach is oldfashioned, not to mention unrealistic, so play it by ear, and try to be flexible. It’s not a competition.
Old-school wedding etiquette says the MOB should tell the MOG what she has bought, presumably to prevent overdressing or under-dressing, clashing colours, and other fashion faux pas. While it’s good form, it’s not a requirement, especially if you’re worried about seeming pushy or bossy.
That said, the MOG might appreciate – even expect – a heads up. You could ask your daughter to subtly pass the details along, or, call yourself. Be friendly and non-territorial: ‘‘I finally found a dress that fits! Do you know what you’re wearing yet?’’ Chances are the MOG will want to know more, or might be totally disinterested, but don’t sweat it; you’ve been heard.
COLOURS
Traditionally, avoid dresses in white, ivory, and champagne colours (that match the bridal gown), black (that can suggest mourning) and red or similarly ‘‘flashy’’ shades. But shades of white can look tailored and elegant; black classic, chic, and formal; red can be done with gorgeous good taste. Bottom line: before you shop, talk to the bride. She may be very sensitive to the colour issue or indifferent.
Some brides like the MOB’s dress to match or tone with the bridesmaids, or have ideas about style, length and formality, and others don’t care.
Keep her guidelines in mind while shopping, but the dress you settle on should make you happy, too. What’s most important is that everyone feels comfortable and beautiful.
STYLE
If ‘‘fancy’’ isn’t your style, you can still look elegant without resorting to sequins, satin, velvet or frills.
If it’s an evening wedding, you’re going to have to dress up more than usual; you don’t want to stick out or appear disrespectful. There are many frill-free formal looks, so look for an outfit (pants are okay) that’s unembellished, easy, and elegant.
But even if you love ‘‘fancy’’, there is such a thing as looking too sexy, so before you choose that strapless ballgown or sizzling minidress, talk to the bride. If she’s supportive, go for it, but if she seems concerned about you turning heads or upstaging her, let her be selfish. It’s her day, not yours. It’s possible to be glamorous without ruffling feathers.